you're not sorry

so im sitting here waiting for krystal to call me back. idk where her ass is but w/e she'll call me when she calls me. last night i went out to dinner with my dad's family friends and stuff. pretty chill. good ass food i must admit. (: but it took forever for us to start eating and i was hella hungry. but dang. we ate hella late. like around 8ish? :[ i dont like eating past eat. and we took over like an hr or so just eating. and idk it was pretty hilarious. me and my brother were just making fun of everyone at the table. and my mom doesnt like this one couple. theyre hella annoying. uhm. i took a nap today cuz i was bored. i went to the ortho and i have a widsom tooth growing. :[ i might have to get it pulled out but like later after my braces. i dont think im anywhere near taking off my braces. they never do anything and it doesnt get any better. -_-. but w/e i dont really mind have braces at all really. im taking my driving test on tuesday and idk kinda nervous? i mean i can drive its just imma miss little things like traffic checks. and i dont wanna fail. :[ we'll seeee.

so lately ive been sleeping early. and its a great thing i mean i dont needa stay up thinking about things i shouldnt be thinking about. i guess its cuz i actually started working out now and so i just sleep better. but i really do hate to think about things i shouldnt be thinking about. i just comes up randomly and it makes me sad. and its horrible cuz i dont tell anyone what im thinking and how i feel cuz i feel like no one can understand me anyways. i mean krystal shes horrible with boy situations thats why she comes to me when she has problems. and her cuzin michelle. shes in the same situation i was in. and im trying my best to help her and let her know that she isnt alone. cuz i think its best to know that if youre going through something its nice to know youre not the only one. its so sad. i dont know why guys gotta be so complicated. theyre all so stupid and hardheaded. and angela has been having the same ole problem since forever and it gets worse each time but she doesnt wanna let go. its hard to let go something you've held on for over a year. i would like to believe im that im over it. i mean i am sorta. i dont really care so much anymore but i also dont want us to not talk anymore. and now that hes super busy we barely even get to talk and it makes me sad. i dont say anything. and idk i think im starting to like someone else but idk. i kinda do and kinda dont. but i think its best if i dont. but then again i dont wanna miss this chance again. it makes me wanna regret it even if i shouldnt. things are way to complicated right now. ughh ive got so much to worry about at this point. school. grades. SATs. high school is going by way too quickly its ridiculous. in a blink of an eye we're gonna be graduating and i dont think imma talk to half the people i talk to now. i'll never be able to say the things i wanna say to certain people cuz im waiting for the right time and idk when that right time is. i just dont know what i want. i never know what i want. and i always tend to do things i dont wanna do and end up walking in the wrong path. i guess you really gotta go after what you want. and apparently i never know what i want so i can never do anything about it and just for it to come to me and see what happens. i really hate the fact that when youre actually happy for once something goes wrong and just screws up everything.

lame

ok so for the past 2 days ive been watching american idol. it was pretty entertaining for 2 hrs or so. but idk it got boring after a while. simon is too nice now. but anywaaays. finals is coming up but im not so worried about it right now. im more focused about my driving test thats coming up this tuesday. i hope i pass. idk i dont wanna do anything stupid and fail. this week went by pretty quick actually. im so glad its almost the weekend. i basically have a 4 day weekend cuz idk if im going to school on tuesday yet. monday is no school thank goodness. sunday imma go watch the unborn with irvin, krystal & alien. saturday imma go out with my family for dinner. and yeah thats about it. im so glad im done with my tutoring hours for both nhs and csf seriously. everyone is like rushing to get their hours done right now. but SATs are coming up and i havent studied. i freakin suck at it seriously. it makes me mad. today first period was so boring. we played jeporedy and took the easiest test ever. then rebecca puked into the trashcan it was pretty gross. and she sat back down as if nothing happened. i mean i wouldve gone to the nurse or something. 2nd period bio we did a lab so it went by quick. i think this is the only time i ever did the lab right. 3rd period pre cal more of those stupid simplification problems thingys. i hate it. but its alright. 4th period english we took the benchmark. then lunch was short since i had a nhs meeting. krystal was nice and gave me half of her lunch. and jade gave me some chicken. 5th period spanish. man i better be done with my freakin participation points. -_- adam was getting mad cuz i was getting called on more than he was. hah loser. 6th period. cooking. omg im so glad we made food today. i was hungry haha. the sandwich was pretty bomb. then i was "tutoring" after school. not really. but overall it was alright.

booomers

so yesterday i met up with krystal at mcdonalds and we left to boomers. at first i was pretty weird cuz i didnt talk to any of her family but then i realized that her family is pretty chill. haha i can see why krystal always take pictures now. her aunt is just like her and takes like a 2039849023 photos of everyone. then her little cuzin looks just like krystal hahah she reminded me of nadine. aw. i miss nadine. i havent seen her since idk how long ago. then we ate pizza. well me and krystal didnt eat since we ate before we went. we ate cake. then we finally got the cards to be able to go out into the park. the first thing we did was take her little cuzin to the train and she rode on it 2 times. then we went minature golfing. krystal cheated btw. then we finally got in line for the go karts. it sucked cuz i was right behind jon the first time but they moved me back all the way to the back cuz the one i was on wasnt working. so i got like a super late start. then people were driving so slow. so i was like ughh. and i bumped into one of them accidentally. some stupid kid bumped into me. and the turns werent smooth at all. hahah idk but overall it was fun. thenn we went back in and laser tagged. they were coming from everywhere i couldnt see them all. then at the end some little black kid tried to brag about his score but krystal's mom got a higher score. HAH sucker. we left boomers afterwards and went to a bakery full of people. so me and krystal just sat there and waited for her aunt and her mom to buy their stuff. then we finally left and went to krystal's house. we ate pizza that was left over from the party and chicken nuggets talking about idk what. then i stayed there till 9 and idk it was just so random. we kept watching these stupid shows on tv. it was pretty boring actually. we ate pretzels and i drank caprisuns. mm. (: it was a chill day. and now idk when we're gonna go watch that stupid movie.

yesss

this week went by so quick. and im hella tired. lack of sleep and my brain is dead. but my brain is turning on again. last night i was on the phone till like 2 talking about random things and im so tired right now. i wanna go out tonight just cuz my bro has friends over and i dont like them cuz theyre annoying and stupid. but w/e might go to victoria's if it works out if not then i'll just catch up on my sleep. (: tomrorow imma go to boomers with krystal for her cuzin's bday party and yeah imma own her on the go cart thingy. :] idk school is stressing. finals are coming up and i needa pass it just so i can get good grades. wooop. other than that everything else is good. i just wanna sleep.

im over it

hes the last thing on my mind at this point. not saying that im completely over it cuz i dont think i can completely get over it. but w/e i have better things to worry about right now like SAT i really needa study and im so glad that kayleen is willing to help me. idk school was blahh. i woke up super late cuz i forgot to turn on my alarm last night -_-. idk everything is pissing me off and like little things that happen just kinda makes me smile so im glad. but overall 09 has been okay. i mean its not that great. but it was alright so far. imma take my driving test on the 20th which is in like 2 weeks or so. ugh idk i just hope i pass i dont wanna retake it. hm. i kinda miss being friends with irvin. idk haha it use to be so much fun. but he doesnt have the time to hang out nowadays so i dont bother. haha. imma start saving my money and yeep. i need a job. so im kinda glad imma be working with krystal over summer its gonna be fun. :]

ghetto

ok so on friday i went ice skating with yuong, kayleen, her bro, steven and his "date" which was some dude -_-. adam couldnt go cuz he didnt have a ride so it kinda sucked. but overall it was pretty good. it was better than i thought which was goood. im still sore and stuff. i got a bruise and a blister. idk how. i guess it was probably the skates but w/e. uhh yesterday i went to cue with andrew, krystal, & adam. it was andrew's and adam's first time so it was pretty funny. we took some pretty funny pictures. except i really sucked at decorating them. -_- then we went to costco to wait for krystal to get her pizza and idk me andrew and adam just sat there and talked yeep. thenn we went to hometown buffet and ate. hahah it was goood. i was so full that i woke up this morning still full. and last night i didnt get hungry so that was good. so im done with my project while everyone else is procrastinating. HAH. yes. im so glad im done. so now i can finally finish up twilight cuz krystal is already done with it. and yeahh. im done with my nhs & csf hrs. woot. thanks to krystal <3. last night was freakin trippy. i was so confused. i stayed at krystal's house until my mom was home from the wedding to come pick me up. so i waited and waited. i called her and she started yelling at me saying the cops wont let her into the house. soo i was confused. but yeah. then krystal's mom gave me a ride home. i came home and finally found out what happened. it wasnt that big of a deal really. its not as bad as it sounds. but fersure my bro was pretty brave. i mean if i was stuck in a situation like that i wouldnt know what to do. hm. but overall break was pretty chill actually. i got some money from working with krystal and her bro at her dad's market on new years. and it was fun but yeah my back started to hurt since we kept bending down to count stuff. haha. and now i gotta save my moneyy. woot. im finally gonna get my license this month. i just hope i pass my first try. idk something stupid might happen i suppose. school tomorrow. i really dont know how im suppose to wake up. every day ive been waking up past noon. and sleeping at like 2 or 3 in the morning cuz i stay up all night on the phone. hahah. i think im FINALLY over it. well for now. idk im not sure. but im so much more mean to him than usual. but we'll seee what happens. & now im hoping that 09 will be goood.

i just want you and no one else

well i thought today would be better. so far ive got no plans. idk w/e. i guess i have no choice but to work on my project. everyone seems busy but me. its quite sad but its ok i suppose. chinese new year will be good i know fersure. cuz imma get MONEY <3. so idk maybe something will come up today? lets just hope. cuz i dont wanna sit here doing nothing while everyone else is doing something. thanksgiving sucked. christmas sucked. i hope new years will be better.