end of 2010

this is my 2nd post for 2010. i dont want to post anything personal on tumblr anymore. too many people read it and i just wanna type this out for my own benefit just so i can look back on this a few years later.
its been a while since we've talked. in fact, it's just awkward now. our awkward hellos and blank stares burns right through me. i didnt think after breaking up for so many years that this awkwardness would happen now. i know its going to take some time for us to be able to say hi to each other without feeling awkward. sometimes i wonder if he ever thinks of me. sure i miss him but its not the same anymore. i guess what really got me thinking was 500 days of summer.
& now im not starting to talk to other guys. well ive been doing it for quite some time now. but right now im stumped. im not sure whether or not he likes me. at first i was certain that he did, but after what he said really threw me off. im trying not to think too much of it but i cant really help it. so its been a several hours since he last texted me and im still here hoping that he would. maybe i just dont have enough things to do throughout the day. hes a busy guy what can i expect? and there it goes. i received another text and no it isnt from him, its from judy. its christmas again which means im broke again. sigh. and endless rain that keeps pouring down. im not sure how i feel atm but i wish that the rain would at least stop. ha. o man. this is depressing.