what's worse than being lonely?

the stage where you and a guy have somewhat established and have already confronted your feelings towards each other. but for some weird ass reason there are always obstacles in the way. sometimes you dont even know understand whats going on and why its there. after 2 years of unhappiness, i finally found someone who can finally make me happy. maybe i am overreacting but i think i deserve to be happy. i deserve to have an explanation as to why this is happening. i wanna know why hes acting the way he is and why hes hot and cold. WHY. i basically poured out my feelings for him and im just so frustrated. it shouldnt even be like this considering that i mean WE'RE NOT EVEN TOGETHER. okay maybe i am overreacting just a little. but my point is, why am i so hurt right now? i havent felt this happy/sad for sucha long time. its a big giant roller coaster that shouldnt even exist right now. idk how else to express myself. i have butterflies right now cuz im scared to death. scared for him to tell me that he doesnt want this. scared to know that he doesnt feel the same way. scared to know why hes acting the way he is. IM SCARED.