i just want you for christmas

doesnt seem like junior year is as great as everyone says it is. everyone is having trouble in some way and not satisfied with whats going on. this rain is making me feel more depressed than ever i dont like it. i want the sun to come back out. today's weather wasnt that bad. i just really miss how things were so easy. i know i complain too much but idk im really not satisfied with anything right now. my grades. my life. him. friends. things are cooling down right now. im not as stressed and annoyed as i use to be. i dont think anyone really understands. some try to pretend that they do care even though they dont and they expect me to open up. i dont open up so easily especially cuz everyone is sick of hearing it from me. so i stopped. i hate crying. i just hate how things are. i just wish that he would understand and change my life around now. but the chances of that happening are not likely. i guess i have too much time on my hands. i needa go out. i need money. i need my license. ahh. idk seems like everyone is busy nowadays. hes going to retreat on sunday. krystal is going to vegas. so is adam. blahh. idk i just really HATE how things are. i just want everything to get better.