im lovin your haircut

soo yesterday krystal came over and stufff. & slept over. we went to adam's house cuz yeah i had to work on my spanish project and he didnt go to school so i decided that we'll just do it at his house. so we did and we stayed there till 9 and did NOTHING. just watched spongebob and talk about random things. then last night krystal almost kicked me off my bed again. but yeah half the time i was paranoid i didnt wanna fall off the bed. she took up more than half the bed.! stupid fat ass. (: then i woke up all early danng. and we ate egg rolls (: cuz my mom made some. haha thenn we got ready and called up adam and asked if he was gonna go with us today. all we did was go to monclair mall. then we went to the shoppes i wanted that active keychain cuz its cheap compared to the ones they had at like tilly's but i shouldve bought the other one at monclair. it was 4 bucks also. this stupid azn/white lady almost hit me today. i was pissed. made me feel like i was a bad driver but her ass came outta nowhere. seriously. like half her car was blocking the whole lane! wth stupidass driver. then we went to tilly's and normstorm rack. ahah just looked around. went to juice it up. dang that was good. haha today was hella hott. we went to target and saw my cuzin. ugh watch my cuzin is gonna be talking ish and say that adam is my bf or something. ughh they always say i have a bf. wtf maaan. so annoying. we were reading valentine's day cards and dancing to the ones that had old school music. hahah then we sat on those chairs that rock in the backyard and looked through the magazine. then we got bored again and went to tj max. didnt find any running shoes we wanted. so we left and took adam to get his haircut and fantasic sams. haha and maan im so glad i took him. cuz now he looks so much better. you can actually see his eyes! but too bad his mom doesnt like it. o well. haha but overall today was fun. and now im super tired. didnt get enough sleep. and since march is coming up soon quick. gotta sign up for my SATs. i'll try tomorrow. as well as procrastinating on my outline for my precal project and think bout who and how imma ask to sadies. ;]

all it takes is a smile

well life has it ups and downs right? i have my ups and downs like all the time. idk how many times throughout the day. this morning i was pissed off at my grade. then all throughout lunch i was so disappointed. i hate it when you expect something but it comes out the complete opposite. it just makes me mad. i was so sure that imma get better grades but now i highly doubt it after knowing my score for my finals. i need to step up and start studying. im so glad its a new semester so it gives me a chance to get better grades. i guess my up for today was driving home with bianca. we stopped by subway and got something to eat and left. but there are also other little things that makes me sad. and it only happens when i have nothing better to do than lay in my bed thinking. i hate thinking at night it just makes me sad. its been so long now. almost like half a freakin year and im still completely over it and it just makes me mad and sad at the same time. like i feel like things are getting better but it isnt. i know he cares but he doesnt say so. and i feel like hes trynna avoid me but at the same time hes trying to talk to me more? i dont even knowww. like last night. omg its the first time in a long time that i cried. i hate crying. i dont even know why i cried. i just did. and its just annoying. but then today im completely fine. its only when its late at night and im not talking to anyone. i just lay there staring at my ceiling thinking about him. and then when victoria told me about her sister like i actually know what shes going through. its horrible. and it just reminded me of the pain that i went through. i thought that my feelings are gone but theyre not. theyre still there and i dont like it. i try so hard but its not getting me anywhere. i dont believe that if you try hard enough you will get it. no way. ive been trying so hard and its not working at all. and then i try talking to another guy and he just doesnt reply half the time so i dont even bother anymore. hes just so busy i suppose. everyone is busy nowadays. and now that i have first lunch it just makes the day soo much longer. i guess the only thing i look foward to now is just driving to school and seeing him. i just wanna give up. seriously. but someone once told me not to give up. so i guess i'll try my best not to. if theres a down there must be an up?

adam is lame

so im talking to adam and hes saying that blogs are lame. which isnt true cuz it helps me keep track of memories somewhat. today i waited for my mother to come home with the car soo i can go out. krystal came over just when my mom came home. and her mom was pissed haha. freakin krystal. anyways. we went to the shoppes cuz its my brother's birthday & then we met up with andrew and jade. thennn we just talked, walked around, and played paper rock scissors. -_-. thennn we went to carls jr. ate. and man we were the loudest ones in there. we were laughing at my brother. ahahah idiot. then we went to target and couldnt find anything. took a few pictures and decided to leave. so i took andrew home the long way. idk hes stupidd. then got gas and went back home. overall today was good. & then we played rock band and krystal couldnt play the drums cuz she had no rhythm to anything. yeep tomorrow gonna clean and stuff. & then monday is chinese new year. i thought tomorrow was chinese new year but its only chinese new years eve. (: yeee.
amy's birthday tomorrow. ahah freakin old maaan. things are getting betterr thats fersuree :]

LICENSED!

finally! so last night i couldnt sleep cuz well i was happy/excited/scared all at the same time so i just called tu cuz shes the only person i knew that was awake at that time and we talked till like 2 30 until i finally decided to hang up and try to sleep. andrew texted me this morning and wished me luck (: <3 and i got up and got ready for the dmv. and watched a little of the thingy this morning. and then i went and there was this huge line luckily i didnt needa wait in line. i just went straight to window 1. and they checked my stuff. and yeah got into the car and waited forever. dang then i ended up with the guy that failed this chick before me. i thought i was gonna fail. he kept marking stuff and idk why. and then he said i never check when i change lines which is bull cuz i did and i did it really slowly too to make sure he saw me. but apparently he didnt. but yeah i passed and im glad. andd i went back to school. and now i gotta wait until my mom gets me insurance so i can finally drive on my own. dang ive waited for this for so long. not really. that 6 months went by so quickly. and now i gotta study for my spanish final tomorrow. and then study for my bio test that i missed today. blahh. fml. well im sure imma do ok? haaha if i study.

ugh stupid JERK

ok so last night the plan was me krystal AND IRVIN to go see the unborn. me and krystal got there early cuz thats the only ride we had and i texted irvin to see if hes almost there. he told me hes gonna be late and save him a seat. and so we did. the movie was starting i texted him and he doesnt text back until it was already half way into the movie and told me oo i cant get in. so krystal went to go get him and i told him that too. but nope just when krystal left to get him he text back saying oo he left. WTF. if you werent gonna come just say that youre busy and cant make it. we're not gonna get butt hurt. the only reason why i was so fuckin mad was cuz he told me ALL WEEK that he was going and he was suppose to be our ride home. so after the movie me and krystal was stuck at harkins with no ride. luckily justin was nice enough to come pick us up. man stupid fuckin idiot. i swear. im not gonna talk to him fuck that. he probably didnt even come and just say he did. geez screw us over twice. first it was knotts then it was last night. geez. jerrk.

ugh and then fuckin finals are coming up. and i am not ready for that. and i have to fuckin sign up for SATs. i was suppose to study like last month but im laggin it soo bad. ughh. wtf man.

you're not sorry

so im sitting here waiting for krystal to call me back. idk where her ass is but w/e she'll call me when she calls me. last night i went out to dinner with my dad's family friends and stuff. pretty chill. good ass food i must admit. (: but it took forever for us to start eating and i was hella hungry. but dang. we ate hella late. like around 8ish? :[ i dont like eating past eat. and we took over like an hr or so just eating. and idk it was pretty hilarious. me and my brother were just making fun of everyone at the table. and my mom doesnt like this one couple. theyre hella annoying. uhm. i took a nap today cuz i was bored. i went to the ortho and i have a widsom tooth growing. :[ i might have to get it pulled out but like later after my braces. i dont think im anywhere near taking off my braces. they never do anything and it doesnt get any better. -_-. but w/e i dont really mind have braces at all really. im taking my driving test on tuesday and idk kinda nervous? i mean i can drive its just imma miss little things like traffic checks. and i dont wanna fail. :[ we'll seeee.

so lately ive been sleeping early. and its a great thing i mean i dont needa stay up thinking about things i shouldnt be thinking about. i guess its cuz i actually started working out now and so i just sleep better. but i really do hate to think about things i shouldnt be thinking about. i just comes up randomly and it makes me sad. and its horrible cuz i dont tell anyone what im thinking and how i feel cuz i feel like no one can understand me anyways. i mean krystal shes horrible with boy situations thats why she comes to me when she has problems. and her cuzin michelle. shes in the same situation i was in. and im trying my best to help her and let her know that she isnt alone. cuz i think its best to know that if youre going through something its nice to know youre not the only one. its so sad. i dont know why guys gotta be so complicated. theyre all so stupid and hardheaded. and angela has been having the same ole problem since forever and it gets worse each time but she doesnt wanna let go. its hard to let go something you've held on for over a year. i would like to believe im that im over it. i mean i am sorta. i dont really care so much anymore but i also dont want us to not talk anymore. and now that hes super busy we barely even get to talk and it makes me sad. i dont say anything. and idk i think im starting to like someone else but idk. i kinda do and kinda dont. but i think its best if i dont. but then again i dont wanna miss this chance again. it makes me wanna regret it even if i shouldnt. things are way to complicated right now. ughh ive got so much to worry about at this point. school. grades. SATs. high school is going by way too quickly its ridiculous. in a blink of an eye we're gonna be graduating and i dont think imma talk to half the people i talk to now. i'll never be able to say the things i wanna say to certain people cuz im waiting for the right time and idk when that right time is. i just dont know what i want. i never know what i want. and i always tend to do things i dont wanna do and end up walking in the wrong path. i guess you really gotta go after what you want. and apparently i never know what i want so i can never do anything about it and just for it to come to me and see what happens. i really hate the fact that when youre actually happy for once something goes wrong and just screws up everything.

lame

ok so for the past 2 days ive been watching american idol. it was pretty entertaining for 2 hrs or so. but idk it got boring after a while. simon is too nice now. but anywaaays. finals is coming up but im not so worried about it right now. im more focused about my driving test thats coming up this tuesday. i hope i pass. idk i dont wanna do anything stupid and fail. this week went by pretty quick actually. im so glad its almost the weekend. i basically have a 4 day weekend cuz idk if im going to school on tuesday yet. monday is no school thank goodness. sunday imma go watch the unborn with irvin, krystal & alien. saturday imma go out with my family for dinner. and yeah thats about it. im so glad im done with my tutoring hours for both nhs and csf seriously. everyone is like rushing to get their hours done right now. but SATs are coming up and i havent studied. i freakin suck at it seriously. it makes me mad. today first period was so boring. we played jeporedy and took the easiest test ever. then rebecca puked into the trashcan it was pretty gross. and she sat back down as if nothing happened. i mean i wouldve gone to the nurse or something. 2nd period bio we did a lab so it went by quick. i think this is the only time i ever did the lab right. 3rd period pre cal more of those stupid simplification problems thingys. i hate it. but its alright. 4th period english we took the benchmark. then lunch was short since i had a nhs meeting. krystal was nice and gave me half of her lunch. and jade gave me some chicken. 5th period spanish. man i better be done with my freakin participation points. -_- adam was getting mad cuz i was getting called on more than he was. hah loser. 6th period. cooking. omg im so glad we made food today. i was hungry haha. the sandwich was pretty bomb. then i was "tutoring" after school. not really. but overall it was alright.

booomers

so yesterday i met up with krystal at mcdonalds and we left to boomers. at first i was pretty weird cuz i didnt talk to any of her family but then i realized that her family is pretty chill. haha i can see why krystal always take pictures now. her aunt is just like her and takes like a 2039849023 photos of everyone. then her little cuzin looks just like krystal hahah she reminded me of nadine. aw. i miss nadine. i havent seen her since idk how long ago. then we ate pizza. well me and krystal didnt eat since we ate before we went. we ate cake. then we finally got the cards to be able to go out into the park. the first thing we did was take her little cuzin to the train and she rode on it 2 times. then we went minature golfing. krystal cheated btw. then we finally got in line for the go karts. it sucked cuz i was right behind jon the first time but they moved me back all the way to the back cuz the one i was on wasnt working. so i got like a super late start. then people were driving so slow. so i was like ughh. and i bumped into one of them accidentally. some stupid kid bumped into me. and the turns werent smooth at all. hahah idk but overall it was fun. thenn we went back in and laser tagged. they were coming from everywhere i couldnt see them all. then at the end some little black kid tried to brag about his score but krystal's mom got a higher score. HAH sucker. we left boomers afterwards and went to a bakery full of people. so me and krystal just sat there and waited for her aunt and her mom to buy their stuff. then we finally left and went to krystal's house. we ate pizza that was left over from the party and chicken nuggets talking about idk what. then i stayed there till 9 and idk it was just so random. we kept watching these stupid shows on tv. it was pretty boring actually. we ate pretzels and i drank caprisuns. mm. (: it was a chill day. and now idk when we're gonna go watch that stupid movie.

yesss

this week went by so quick. and im hella tired. lack of sleep and my brain is dead. but my brain is turning on again. last night i was on the phone till like 2 talking about random things and im so tired right now. i wanna go out tonight just cuz my bro has friends over and i dont like them cuz theyre annoying and stupid. but w/e might go to victoria's if it works out if not then i'll just catch up on my sleep. (: tomrorow imma go to boomers with krystal for her cuzin's bday party and yeah imma own her on the go cart thingy. :] idk school is stressing. finals are coming up and i needa pass it just so i can get good grades. wooop. other than that everything else is good. i just wanna sleep.

im over it

hes the last thing on my mind at this point. not saying that im completely over it cuz i dont think i can completely get over it. but w/e i have better things to worry about right now like SAT i really needa study and im so glad that kayleen is willing to help me. idk school was blahh. i woke up super late cuz i forgot to turn on my alarm last night -_-. idk everything is pissing me off and like little things that happen just kinda makes me smile so im glad. but overall 09 has been okay. i mean its not that great. but it was alright so far. imma take my driving test on the 20th which is in like 2 weeks or so. ugh idk i just hope i pass i dont wanna retake it. hm. i kinda miss being friends with irvin. idk haha it use to be so much fun. but he doesnt have the time to hang out nowadays so i dont bother. haha. imma start saving my money and yeep. i need a job. so im kinda glad imma be working with krystal over summer its gonna be fun. :]

ghetto

ok so on friday i went ice skating with yuong, kayleen, her bro, steven and his "date" which was some dude -_-. adam couldnt go cuz he didnt have a ride so it kinda sucked. but overall it was pretty good. it was better than i thought which was goood. im still sore and stuff. i got a bruise and a blister. idk how. i guess it was probably the skates but w/e. uhh yesterday i went to cue with andrew, krystal, & adam. it was andrew's and adam's first time so it was pretty funny. we took some pretty funny pictures. except i really sucked at decorating them. -_- then we went to costco to wait for krystal to get her pizza and idk me andrew and adam just sat there and talked yeep. thenn we went to hometown buffet and ate. hahah it was goood. i was so full that i woke up this morning still full. and last night i didnt get hungry so that was good. so im done with my project while everyone else is procrastinating. HAH. yes. im so glad im done. so now i can finally finish up twilight cuz krystal is already done with it. and yeahh. im done with my nhs & csf hrs. woot. thanks to krystal <3. last night was freakin trippy. i was so confused. i stayed at krystal's house until my mom was home from the wedding to come pick me up. so i waited and waited. i called her and she started yelling at me saying the cops wont let her into the house. soo i was confused. but yeah. then krystal's mom gave me a ride home. i came home and finally found out what happened. it wasnt that big of a deal really. its not as bad as it sounds. but fersure my bro was pretty brave. i mean if i was stuck in a situation like that i wouldnt know what to do. hm. but overall break was pretty chill actually. i got some money from working with krystal and her bro at her dad's market on new years. and it was fun but yeah my back started to hurt since we kept bending down to count stuff. haha. and now i gotta save my moneyy. woot. im finally gonna get my license this month. i just hope i pass my first try. idk something stupid might happen i suppose. school tomorrow. i really dont know how im suppose to wake up. every day ive been waking up past noon. and sleeping at like 2 or 3 in the morning cuz i stay up all night on the phone. hahah. i think im FINALLY over it. well for now. idk im not sure. but im so much more mean to him than usual. but we'll seee what happens. & now im hoping that 09 will be goood.