you're not sorry

so im sitting here waiting for krystal to call me back. idk where her ass is but w/e she'll call me when she calls me. last night i went out to dinner with my dad's family friends and stuff. pretty chill. good ass food i must admit. (: but it took forever for us to start eating and i was hella hungry. but dang. we ate hella late. like around 8ish? :[ i dont like eating past eat. and we took over like an hr or so just eating. and idk it was pretty hilarious. me and my brother were just making fun of everyone at the table. and my mom doesnt like this one couple. theyre hella annoying. uhm. i took a nap today cuz i was bored. i went to the ortho and i have a widsom tooth growing. :[ i might have to get it pulled out but like later after my braces. i dont think im anywhere near taking off my braces. they never do anything and it doesnt get any better. -_-. but w/e i dont really mind have braces at all really. im taking my driving test on tuesday and idk kinda nervous? i mean i can drive its just imma miss little things like traffic checks. and i dont wanna fail. :[ we'll seeee.

so lately ive been sleeping early. and its a great thing i mean i dont needa stay up thinking about things i shouldnt be thinking about. i guess its cuz i actually started working out now and so i just sleep better. but i really do hate to think about things i shouldnt be thinking about. i just comes up randomly and it makes me sad. and its horrible cuz i dont tell anyone what im thinking and how i feel cuz i feel like no one can understand me anyways. i mean krystal shes horrible with boy situations thats why she comes to me when she has problems. and her cuzin michelle. shes in the same situation i was in. and im trying my best to help her and let her know that she isnt alone. cuz i think its best to know that if youre going through something its nice to know youre not the only one. its so sad. i dont know why guys gotta be so complicated. theyre all so stupid and hardheaded. and angela has been having the same ole problem since forever and it gets worse each time but she doesnt wanna let go. its hard to let go something you've held on for over a year. i would like to believe im that im over it. i mean i am sorta. i dont really care so much anymore but i also dont want us to not talk anymore. and now that hes super busy we barely even get to talk and it makes me sad. i dont say anything. and idk i think im starting to like someone else but idk. i kinda do and kinda dont. but i think its best if i dont. but then again i dont wanna miss this chance again. it makes me wanna regret it even if i shouldnt. things are way to complicated right now. ughh ive got so much to worry about at this point. school. grades. SATs. high school is going by way too quickly its ridiculous. in a blink of an eye we're gonna be graduating and i dont think imma talk to half the people i talk to now. i'll never be able to say the things i wanna say to certain people cuz im waiting for the right time and idk when that right time is. i just dont know what i want. i never know what i want. and i always tend to do things i dont wanna do and end up walking in the wrong path. i guess you really gotta go after what you want. and apparently i never know what i want so i can never do anything about it and just for it to come to me and see what happens. i really hate the fact that when youre actually happy for once something goes wrong and just screws up everything.