bah

today wasnt the best school day. i called andrew this morning and after we talked for like 5 mins i was very happy & i couldnt wait to go to school. when i got there it wasnt that bad. everything was ok. he hasnt held me like that since.. idk.. for a while. but it felt right. it felt good.
and everything after that was just ugh. the more i thought about what happened last night the more depressed/angry i was. more depressed than angry. i was so close to crying so many times today but i held it in hoping that no one will notice.
but idk everyone knew something was wrong but i didnt say anything.
so passing to 4th period i see andrew. i saw him and i almost cried. but before that i just stood there and wait for him to come to me. he did it was very nice and i just hugged him and he asked me whats wrong i just said oo nothing.. and he said noo really whats wrong? and he looked me in eyes and asked me again i looked away cuz i didnt wanna start crying. but he knew something was up. and i just walked to class.
i walked into class and the first thing taylor ask me is. jacky are you ok? and i said yeah im fine..
but throughout the period i couldnt pay attention. i couldnt pay attention to anything today. idk. but.. when lunch came. it was very quiet.
well i was at least. andrew went to go get lunch & didnt come back for the longest time and when he did come back. he looked at me and he looked very concern but he would mouth the words "are you ok?" and i wouldnt say anything.
jade asked me are you gonna get food and i said noo im not hungry. and shes like why arent you hungry? are you ok? youre sad arent you? and i said no.. and she said lemme see your ring so i showed her and shes like hm.. idk what youre sad. kayleen asked me the same question and wanted me to tell her. but i didnt say a word
the bell rung and andrew was walking with me and he put his arms around me and asked me whats wrong jackyy. i said nothing.. and he said are you sure?
and when he wanted to hug i would just push him away. he looked kinda sad/worried. he kept holding onto my arm and not letting me out of his sight and when we finally got where we usually hug. he told me please go to class. and asked me if i was going to give him a hug.
and i said well do you want a hug? and so he hugged me real tight. and i said how can you say you dont love me when i can feel it? and hes like what? and i said nothing and walked to class.
so when i got to class i text him the same thing i said. and he didnt say anything. well i wasnt surprised anyways cuz its during school. and he has english. its kinda hard to text.
6th period made me feel a lot better. just messing around and talking to bianca made me forget a little about it.
after school came and i saw him. and when we hugged idk. it just made our hugs all that special again. it was very nice. i didnt wanna let go but he had to since he had sectionals.
its hard to believe what he said last night when all his actions point to one thing. and that thing is that he really does love me just as much as he use to.

i guess you can say i was over reacting. idk. school is so UGH. piss off.