shit

too bad today i felt like shit. right when i got to school i saw him and i tried so hard to not look at him.
but i knew that paul saw me.
when he sat next to me i couldnt help but cry. idk what came over me.
i didnt want to cry. I HATE CRYING but it just all came out.
he didnt do much just said jacky.. are you ok..? and he put his hand on my back and started rubbing it. it was nice but idk. i feeeel like SHIT all fckin day.
its a horrible feeling. i hate it i hate i HATE IT. ! i want it to all go away.
he doesnt seem like he has ANY problem with it at all whatsoever. which made me feel even worse. cuz now im the reason why he was unhappy in the first place.
FUCK IT.