i REALLY dont know.

i know that every is concern about whats going on with me and stuff.
im glad that the true friends are there for me. i dont mean to make it seem like i really dont appreciate that fact that you actually take the time to try to get me to open up to you and stuff. but i really cant.
i honestly dont know what i want at the moment.
i miss andrew a lot and its very hard to get over him. im taking little baby steps. and if you really cant tell i was much better today. this whole week have been horrible for me. everything i didnt want to happen already happened and i cant do anything about it but to look forward and thats what im trying to do. its difficult to try to be optimistic in a situation like this.
part of me really wants to get back together with him but another half is like idk whats the point? he doesnt even see or feel the same way about me anymore so why bother. but at the same time i do feel like theres something still there.
i can tell he PROBABLY feels the same way. idk. i can actually see why he always told me he didnt know what he wanted either.
its really tough. no lie. i cant imagine what i would be doing to my other friends if they were put in a situation like this. its very confusing and idk.
i want this to be over with. i want everything to go back to normal like how it use to be.
it just hurts me to know that everything that ever happened between us just went down the drain.
i mean its a whole freakin year. a year isnt short either. its just ive been so use to how things were with him. cuz believe it or not even when i do seem like i stress a lot about him, he actually makes everything a lot easier.
like now i feel lost? sorta. not really. i cant help but think that wow this is how its going to be now. i cant adapt that fast to the changes that already happened.
its the 2nd day of the break up and idk we act as if we're still together.
he somewhat walks to me class and hugs me. and idk. everything seems like how it use to be except he doesnt call me anymore.
sometimes i kinda wish there was a restart button. but too bad theres not such thing.
i still love andrew and thats a fact.
i dont care what people think of him but if you got to know him like i did then MAYBE you'll understand.
im trying my best here. and i really dont know what to do anymore but just wait and just go with the flow & hope for the best.