i was only in school for a week and it already seems like forever. i guess that can also be a good thing since we're all gonna graduate and probably will never see each other again. i just wish i talked to some people more. becuz i have the worst lunch ever i cant talk to anyone i wanna talk to. friendships are somewhat fading and i dont like it. soo im trying bust my butt trynna keep in touch with certain people as much as i can but they dont seem to care whatsoever. thats the sad part. but idk people are just so ignorant nowadays its really annoying.
but overall i think i like my schedule just not my lunch. but luckily ms chiu decided to keep the same lunch next semester so i can have lunch with everyone else. idk how many times ive said that i miss how things use to be. it sadens me how nothing ever gets better. in fact it just gets worse. so today wouldve been 2 years. and in 4 days i will officially be single for a whole year. thats the sad part. he probably doesnt even remember what today is and every single time its the 12th of every month it bothers me. ive gotten over the fact that we're not together anymore but the difficult part is being his friend.
he doesnt seem to appreciate any of the things i do for him and thats really sad. he doesnt realize why everyone comes running back to me when i stop talking to them cuz some shit happens. he doesnt realize how good of a friend i am. he doesnt realize that once he finally completely loses me he'll regret it. so what am i suppose to do now? im tired of waiting for things to get better. but i cant or dont know what i can do to make things better.

everything does happen for a reason.
whats meant to be will find its way.

yesterday didnt turn out so bad.
after me and chloe got lunch we called up justin to go bowling.
and he said he'd be there in like idk 30 mins or so? so me and chloe went to best buy to play games and take pictures. haha i really love best buy. its so much fun.
then when we got there justin said joseph was gonna be there soon so we waited for him and decided to play pool instead. joseph showed up just in time when we started and me and chloe lost the first 2 rounds and won the last 2. then went to little caesers to buy some pizza and came home.

idk but i can honestly say that HE CANNOT TAKE A HINT. but yeah i dont know. stupid boys.

some people are very annoying.
so ignoring them only makes them talk more shit. HAH. woow. idiots.
its nice to know you spend so much time on me.

anyways.
soo everyday this week i went out. well except monday.
tuesday i went out with krystal went to puente to ask about the job but the manager wasnt there and we ended up running into her aunt. soo later we to her grandma's and ate dumplings her aunt made. ahah it was gooood.

wednesday went to play pool with chloe& her friend, justin, & joseph . we won both rounds. ahhah even though i did make any in. i dont care. i suck at it and i know already. then went to life and justin and joseph would be the ones that were super excited to play games. -_-. stayed there for a little until me and joseph left to the park to watch a movie and stuff. i kinda wish we ate before we went cuz man joseph was really hungry and i was eh. soo we ordered pizza and told them to drop it off at some random house we were standing in front of. so now im broke. -_- i spent more than 15 bucks. cuz joseph didnt have any cash on him. it was a good night. i finished a whole box of pizza and now im sitting here regretting it. ahha

thursday. went to liana's party like super late. her party started at 2 but we got there like at 6. haha she was mad. not at me but at andrew and adam. it was pretty stupid. cuz liana was mad at andrew and andrew was being pissy. idk everyone was just in a bad moood that day. but the ice cream cake we got her was delicious.

yesterday. i went to watch time traveler's wife. very good movie btw. krytal and her aunt was crying. ahha i didnt cry. i was surprised. uhh then ate at costco & dropped off her brother and went to her camp thingy that she worked at to visit and say hi. very awkward. the kids would just look at me -_- umm. then we went to cue and took a few pictures and went to her grandma's house. krystal was being mean. ahah. jerk. yeep then came home and did nothingg.

today? well i guess im going to get lunch with chloe and we'll see from there.
birthday in a weeek. sorta.

i thought i was done digging this huge hole for myself.
but seems to me im just making things worse.
i actually thought about it before taking action but i guess that isnt my thing.
a lot of things happened the past few days. well a lot more than i expected.
so now im lost. clueless. confused. and of course indecisive.
i dont know what to do. obviously doing nothing doesnt work. -_-

i feel like without electricity i lose contact with everyone. no internet. no phone. i hateee how i never charge my phone so it died on me last night. ugh.
and i couldnt go to practice this morning cuz we only had one car. the other car was parked in the garage and we couldnt open up the garage.
but no matter how much i complain about going to practice, i actually like running.
i guess ms garcia was right. exercising puts you in a better mood.

birthday in 2 weeks. lets see how things turn out.
& i like how i have plans like everyday haha. it keeps my mind off of things.

i didnt do much today. yesterday's race was hella tiring. i ran the 2 mile thingy and i was so slow. :[ o well first race. uhh idk ive been lazy lately and havent been going to practice.
summer is almost over and im kinda excited and sad at the same time. i just wanna get senior year over with and go to college. well sorta.

uhh idk i feel like things are getting better now. but at the same time ive never been so indecisive. i hate it. i honestly dont know what i want at this point. and i feel like im digging this huge hole for myself. sooner or later i wont be able to get out. and everything will be a big mess and im screwed at the end. &i will lose everything i once had.
i find it impossible for me to let go of my past and it bugs the shit outta mee.
im trying so hard but its not working. soo what do i do now?
cuz leaving it as it is and just going with the flow isnt working out apparently.
i dont know maaaaaaaaaaan.
everyone seems to be having problems and i try my best to help them the best i can. but i seem to be soo helpless. er i wish i help solve my own problems like i do with others. :[
at least senior year will be better. hopefully.

today was pretty good. uhh i didnt go to practice this morning cuz maan speed workout yesterday was death. i was to tired. i was on the phone with joseph till 1 30ish and i went to sleep and woke up at 1 pm this afternoon. im happy (:
thenn later on joseph came and picked me up and we went to plateforms and he bought some skate shoes and we stopped by taco bell and got some food. then we went to his house and watched the break up and just chilled. haha we watched a little bit of spideman 3. yeep. then we got hungry and ate at del taco. woot taco tuesday. hahah i was full. and it was hella cold there. then we went to ayala park and he was skating and i sat there and texted. haha it was kinda crowded. some people really suck at skating. well compared to joseph.
then he dropped me offf. and yeeep im tired already. race tomorrow. lame -_-

im hella hungry already and i ate around 8ish.
thats not good :[
uhhh today woke up late cuz i didnt go to practice. ate and left to longo lexus and saw andrew on the 71 highway. haha he stuck out like half his body outta the window to say hi to us. hahah wooow.
well we finally got there and me and bro hit the snack bar. haha
we got drinks cuz we didnt want cookies. and i had my retainers. i didnt feel like taking them off. we waited for about an hr or so. and we played omgpop on their computers. haha this other guy he was on his laptop playing omgpop. i kinda wished i took my laptop with me. :[
thenn came home. and stupid dog like pooped everywhere -_- . annoying little dog.
uhh then joseph came and picked me up and we went to drhs. and met up with chloe and justin. they took a while so joseph was skateboarding. and i sat there watching him. cuz i cant do anything.
when they finally came they were skating and long boarding for idk how long. then we went to go play pool. yeah i sucked. but i got lucky sometimes. haha
we won the first round and barely lost the 2nd one. it kinda sucked. but whatever.
thenn i was REALLY hungry and kept complaining. and we went to the mall to eat.
the mcdonalds guy was freakin weird. HAHA. ugly laugh.
joseph wanted a refill and it was so awkward. didnt even know what that guy was doing. geeeeez.
uhh we sat there and they were spinning the dime around. haha
then we finally left. yeep
thats itt.
joseph dropped me off and now im here. hungry again.

yesterday! me adam andrew and my bro went to liana's to have a potc marathon. it was a fail. i had to come home early. :[
buut it was fun. i wish i couldve swam though. it was HOT.

soo today i finally saw joseph again haha.
haha first it was just me chloe and joseph.
we went to the park. but chloe left early cuz she was going to jessica's house. so it was whatever.
we stayed at the park and did whatever. joe was skating. and we were just sitting there and watched him. uhh then dropped off chloe at her house. and me and joe went to get free juice it up. and he bought me tacos (: it was delicious.
then we went to target and sat there for idk how many hrs ahah we started to get tired. oo and we also rode bikes. haha i havent done that for so long :[
then we decided to go to barnes and noble. we just walked around looked at some books. haha joe was very interested in the sexual section of the book store. ahha dirty pervert. haha jk (:
uhh thenn he got hungry so we went to carl's jr and sat there for the rest of the night as he ate and we talked. it was nice.
uhh right before we left we decided to get an application at old navy. too bad it was closed. :[
haha yeahh thats it for todayy. :]
no plans for the weekend.
& too tired for practice.

went to disneyland yesterday with krystal.
omg traffic was bad going onto the 57. but we got there eventually. uh we went on like all the rides.
it was fun. uh took us FOREVER to find panda express. omg sucha piss off. haha i cannot find my way around disneyland. uhhh. went back to disneyland after we ate and went on splash mountain. omg we were soaked. it was VERY uncomfortable.
finally decided to leave around 1030ish. didnt get home till 12! wtf.
we got lost on the 5. and krystal calls justin and he didnt sound reliable at all. but we eventually go through it. thank goodness.
yeaaaah. im tired. didnt wake up for practice. fail. im tired. and idk if i wanna do anything today.

beachhhhh<3

first time in a long time that ive gonee! and im so happy that it worked out. even though it was only the 4 of us. haha
so ive been up since 6 in the morning and im hella tired
im so glad i dont have practice tomorrow. thank goodness.
so after i came home from practice my mom left me with all the money and i went to get an oil change for the car
then picked up my bro and went to andrew's house. load the stuff. went to winco and bought so much junk food. ahha
uhh we finally went to the beach which took a while. im glad we didnt get lost (:
o man it was fun. haha i was actually skinny enough to wear a bikini (:
the water was cold at first but then we got use to it. there was soo much seaweed. pissed me off. i couldnt even walk without getting one tangled on my feet. ugh. but when i finally decided to not go on anymore and change. the seaweed was gone :[
so i just wrote on the sand with my toes and took pictures. haha
i was so sad. my phone died :[ err. but its okay now.
thenn after the beach we ate at red robins and spent about 40 bucks there haha it was goood. :]
the guy was flirting with me. LMAO. lame
then we went to liana's and swam ahhaha it was fun (:
so now im here. and my hair feels gross. needa shower !

awwwww today was so good (:
jade came over around 1ish? idk then we ate played with the dogs and watched pirates of the caribbean
then chloe calls and tells me to go get pho with justin and i was like hmm is joseph going? and shes like o yeah he'll call him up so he did and he ended up going. finished up pirates and went to jade's house so she can change
met up with them and ate pho. hahah chloe and justin got their own table and me joe and jade got our own.
ate. chilled at the parking lot for a while and watched joe own those db kids. (:
uhh then went to h mart and me and jade bought monsters came back to the parking lot and played 10 fingers. (: i won of course. and jade. ahha we're good
uhh decided to go to the shoppes. and watched the water. OMG A SIBERIAN HUSKY<3
I LOVE IT. hahah
joe and justin gets wet. and joe wanted a hug. haha too bad i was playing stupid. :]
yeahh i have to say today was really goood.

haaaah today was goood. (:
didnt do much. i was planning to hang out with jade today. but things got cancelled the last min and jazmin took the car so jade couldnt come over.
so i went to a party thingy with chloe. beginning was ehh.
went to get boba and bought some doughnuts at food 4 less. then went to the party.
saw me cuzin and it was alright.
sat around didnt do much. then we played capture the flag. haha me and chloe went to get pizza and drinks while the game was going on and we lost. :[
o well. thenn chloe and some other people started to dance but then i had to go. haha
just when it was getting fun o well next time.
freakin dominick went but left before i got there. er

okaay tomorrow is friday but theres practice boooo :[
its at mt sac too. lamee! but andrew is gonna run with us :]
uhh havent done much this week. just went to practice. slept and ate. a lot.
haha i applied at tutti frutti today and there was this cute guy there working when i was turning in my application.
and when i was leaving adam was complaining how hot it was and i said im sorry im poor. and the guy turned and smiled. how embarassing. geez i didnt know i talked that loud :[
but each day is getitng hotter.
im sweating more every day during practice. ew its gross.
is it possible to develop asthma?
im scared.
i couldnt breathe when i was running today during the mile.
eczema is becoming asthma?!
i hope not
beach tuesday! i better go or else imma shank someone.

im soo glad i went to practice this morning.
i was running with jade today and damn i was getting tired.
errr but they did 200's today. and i guess imma be doing it too probably on thursday -_-
well at least im somewhat better than the newer kids. sweeet.
err i havent been so bored ever. ive been stuck at home for the longest time.
well it hasnt been that long. but it feel likes it.
i napped so often yesterday just cuz i have nothing to do.
hopefully later on tonight me andrew and liana will go to the shoppes and do NOTHING.
cuz im bored. i'd rather do nothing with someone else. hahah

err im hungry. i want pancakes now.

i love weekends.
went out today with andrew and liana.
it was fun.
we went to guppy's (: it was good. too bad i didnt have an appetite.
then we went to the park! (:
im looking forward to tomorrow. and my bday.
i wanna see what andrew is gonna do for me. hah ;]
the game i've never is fun too. ahhaha

its been a long week.
im sore. and im tired.
ive been sleeping a lot. and ive been eating too little.
this isnt good..

i really dont like this right now.
i rarely talk to him.
i swear he calls once a week now.
it went from everyday to once a week. hah wow.

yeah this is lame.
lets see how things workout tomorrow..

i have to admit that today at practice i was DYING. well the last 2 laps i was. haha dang. practice never seem soo long before.
and i was sweating like a lot more than usual. gross.
i hate the sun sometimes. haha
well after practice i came home and played with my doggy and put her to sleep so i can sleep.
i slept until adam called and woke me up to pick him up. so i did and took him to his house to get money. then took him to target to buy a dress shirt but didnt find his size so we went to ross. haha
we were so confused with the sizes. then i took him to shower and i ironed his shirt. lame
then i took him to school to take his picture which took FOREVER. a lot of people were there sorta.
thenn we went back to adam's house and looked at his pictures. he looks the same in every single one of them -_-
uhh he made me pancakes. how nice. (:
then came home and took my brother to 7-11 but got nothing. -_-
so we decided to get jack in the box. and yeahh took him to get his computer fixed and thats about it.
er. im tired.
another long day tomorrow. i dont wanna go to practice anymore. i gotta wake up too early.

okay so i love my new puppy.
she has blue eyes (:
i hope it stays like that but my cuzin said it changes when its older. blahh.
uhh todayy i wasnt to cross country practice. it wasnt so bad. pretty easy i must say. just ran for 20 mins wooot.
idk what we're doing tomorrow. probably 20 mins again.
i came up after practice and slept for like idk how many hours. woke up and ate. and went to nadine's house and petco with our puppy. (:

thenn i napped again hahah so freakin lazy. but i feel like all this running is gonna pay off.

happy 4th of july? i think not!

today was ehh.
i only got 4 hrs of sleep and omg im TIRED. i woke up super early to go eat dim sum with my family. then we went shopping sortaish.
uhh came home and waited for fire works. took a nap. my laptop was being dumb.
krystal told me at the last min she wasnt going to dbhs for fireworks and andrew told me he was going i was like ahh man i wanna go i dont wanna stay home. so i got adam to go with me and i rushed and got there on time. took me a while to find andrew and liana but found them eventually. haha
then stayed with andrew and his family to watch fireworks. then his mom treated us to yogurt. haha it was good.

AND I GOT A PUPPY!<3

soo today was alright.
went to the park with krystal and talked a lot. while we drank monsters. ahhaha it was nice.


andddd you have no idea how you make me feeel ;]

4th of july tomorrow!
practice monday boooooo no more sleeping in :[

i like how tilly's sends me an advertisement. -_-
i didnt sign up for that!
buut idk i guess getting something is better than nothing? idk
but i havent done much today. i woke up at 12 yay. and then got up and made myself some food cuz my mom was gone. hm now its like 5 35 and ive been on the comp for about 5 hrs or so now. ahah dang.
practice starts monday -_-
today is barely thursday. geeeez. 2 days till he comes back
feels like i havent talked to him for a very long time
....


i really miss him.

i must say today was a very successful. first. i woke up and went with my mom to copy some papers. came home and krystal came. i drove. and we went all the way to the block at orange. which took forever. cuz we didnt really know where we were going but we eventually found our way after i dont know how many u-turns. haha we had to keep asking indian people at the gas station. ahahha
thenn we went to downtown disney and took pictures and all those good stuff.
go onto the freeway with a bunch of traffic. then went to brea.
took pictures at the apple store and then looked at puppies. (:
then we decided to go down to the other part of brea. walked around. went to ralphs and got arizona and then walked around.
went to costco. dude almost every azn did guy a hot dog and a drink. lol. lost the car for a split second. then went to target. yeeeep.
& now im home. im tired. but i have to admit today was very fun. (:

next trip is to the beach and pasadena!

okaaaaaaay so things have been kinda wack.
yesterday i went shopping cuz i actuallly have money.
got my bikini & a shirt. and today imma go to the mall again.
i hope krystal got her license.
shes taking her test as i type this. haha errrr
long days and short nights. haha lame.
i wish this week would end. and someone would call me for a job.


i really miss him at the moment.

wow knocked out last night.
6 and a half hrs of sleep isnt good for me.
err 2 days since lucky died. :[
i really miss him. but yeah idk.
i worked with krystal yesterday and got 60 bucks. i finally got some money and im so happy.
sorta.
we went to the mall afterwards and we went to look at puppies and aw theyre so cute.
i want one.
& we were walking around and some lady had a dog that looked so much like lucky. :[ it made me sad
but idk we're gonna get another puppy so just it isnt so sad around the house.
andd i really want a job now so i can get a car. like A CAR FOR MYSELF.
i hope that harkins/pacsun/aeropostale/barnes and noble calls soon..

too much for one week period.
i miss lucky a lot
and i hope things get better.
aka i get a job and buy myself a car.

RIP LUCKY<3

06.26.09
RIP Lucky<3

so everyone's been talking about MJ death. pretty sad. even if he molested little kids he was 'the king of pop'

er this morning fuckin jesus kept texting me and im trynna sleep. wtf man. he cannot take a hint obviously. he texted me for the past idk few days and i didnt reply to any of them. er. how annoying.

& im ready to go out today. transformers & the proposal today!

im too lazy to drive around cuz i can never think of where to go
so i just make people come over. ahha
yesterday chloe came over again. we didnt do much except she made me go to the post office with her. i was kinda like wow really waste of my time! but i guess that can also be a good thing.
i havent been so relieved for a long time. and i like this. i feel like idk but its just nice.
& today tu came over. and her mom is crazy period. but it was kinda funny cuz my mom thinks the same thing. so this week is kinda slow. its hard to believe its only been a week. it seems like its been forever.! but i guess it can be a good thing right?
i wanna talk to certain people but dont really have the chance to. seems like a lot of people are always busy and im the only one that never has plans.
it was nice talking to kayleen for a little today. it feels like i havent talked to her for a very long time. but its only been a week or so.
idk every day has been very slow. i want to work so i can get some money and it can help make the day go by faster.
errr. i wish some people didnt have summer school.

no plans today hahah. dang. but im trying to make plans to go to the beach.
uhh i think i finally made the best decision ive made for the past year. no regrets now.
& i cant believe how many people i saw at walmart that i knew.
i needa get a lot done this summer. not really. but i should start reading. cuz if i read like last year. its gonna take me the whole summer. ahah
i think my summer might get a little better now that some stupid problems are resolved.
yeeeeah.
i still need a job. haha

well things just kinda came up today
i wasnt really planning to go out
but i did anyways
first i came home from the doctor
then i picked up adam and turned in our applications for harkins
then later on we went to liana's and andrew and nelson was there.
watched a movie and played cards and the wii.
it was fun. at first it was kinda lame cuz everything was so awkward
and i was being a total bitch towards andrew. HAH WHAT A DOUCHEBAG
he deserves it. HAH.
but yeah im tired now.

well yesterday didnt turn out that bad
uh me tu chloe and adam went to the cooper's house well the fake one at least.
it was kinda creepy. ahah its all good.
then i dropped off tu and adam came home and went with chloe to walmart. but then my mom wanted me home so i just went home.
thenn todayy. i was happy to eat left over bbq. but idk i feel kinda sick at the moment.
i napped for about 2 hrs or so then chloe texted me so i got up and showered. she came and picked me up cuz fuck my mom. geez. if my summer is gonna be like this omg fml.
so we went to her house. helped her wash her car. i didnt really do much though so its all good. then we walked to harkins it was the most exercise ive had for a while.
watched hangover. ahhaha lmao that shit is hilarious. i like it.
well i dont think imma go out this week. just gonna stay home and sleep. but i really need to turn in my job applications.
i need a job like NOW.
i hope the beach thing works out this week. i really wanna goooooo

super fail

the party is alright.
not much going on
krystal ugh suchma disappointment. now i know what jessica and carol meant. -_-
but its all good
jade came and left. cuz of her sister's problems.
yeeep
adam is gonna come soon around 6ish.
and andrew and kayleen bailed at the last min. o well
its all goooood.
tu is leaving at 7ish. :[
imma be a loner.

she liked it a little too much

okaaay soo today i basically went food shopping with my mom all day to get food for saturday.
uhh came home. talked to tu on the phone then fell asleep. called andrew to see if he was ready
picked him up then drove a super long way to johnny rockets. ahah he had his eyes closed the whole timee. got there and i dragged him cuz he couldnt see
i think he was pretty surprised. and liana came with cupcakes and caked andrew. ahhahah! then i got frosting on my butt :[
uhh ate. krystal came. then left. then ate ahah then we walked around and dressed up andrew and adam. ahah it was actually pretty cool. uh walked around some more. saw these kids playing with water. ahah these girls are such sluts. ahahha
then yeah took them home. it was nice.
successful day.

happy birthday andrew (:

& its the last day of school. nicce. so i did pretty good on my presentation. well it was alright. pulled me up to a b- so im good. aha and uhh it didnt feel like it was the last day.
but its all good. im happy its over. woot senior year.
i didnt do much today. 2nd period was just whatever. finished up presentations and played cards.
lunch we had a pot luck and damn so much food. i was so full
4th period had a party so i ate more. ahah
6th period was super boring. me and michael were walking around the school for over an hr. ahha
& today is andrew's birthday
so i came home. baked him a retarded looking cake. got him a card and a shirt and got some balloons and dropped it off at his house. & tomorrow night we're gonna take him out for dinner at johnny rockets. ahha. how funn.
:]
im excited.

hell yeahh

tomorrow is the last day. FINALLY. im practically done with my finals. just gotta present tomorrow for bio which im kinda not prepared for. i feel like my presentation is too short. :[
buuut im happy cuz i have 5 a's pretty much. YES. its IMPOSSIBLE to get an A for bio.
but whateverr.
so today was whatever. im so glad i dont have mr power anymore. geez and pre cal was good. just took the test. it was pretty easy. i didnt use a calculator. ahah super beast.
ahah anyways. spanish test freakin aced that ishh. idk maybe. but i have an a- now soo im super happy. like i was screaming. ahah im a nerd. i know.
then after school me and adam went job hunting. cuz he needs a job for job exp? something like that i forgot.
but yes i really wanna work at barnes and nobles now. ahah i thought about it and it would be pretty cool. so liana said they were hiring at pinkberry and i was like agh i dont wanna work there cuz of this chick that works there and so we go in to ask for applications cuz adam wanted one. and wow she was in there. she looked at me with that sarcastic smile and asked if i wanted yogurt. psh. whatever.

ahh im super excited for tomorrow. last day of school. dang imma be so fat. we're gonna have a potluck at lunch and imma have a party right afterwards. geez. im sucha fatass. aha
but its also andrew's birthday. woo do i have a surprise for him ;]
too bad he wont be home cuz hes going to the graduation. ahha.
but yeahh im full and i feel fat again.
i ate subway. and it took me forever to pick out a birthday card for andrew. geez. so indecisive.
my brother isnt any help -_-
but overall goood dayy. ive been in a really good mood lately. aahha

soo 2 more days

till school ends. im super happy. no more school. no more mr power. ugh hes annoying. no more homework. no more waking up early. well until xc starts. ahh im tired. i feel like the more i sleep the more tired i am.
soo i think things are running pretty smoothly. i have to say that im almost back to my normal self. it took a while but im almost there. i think. i just dont want another drop.
summer is right around the corner. and im super excited. & it feels like everyone's birthday is in june? i still havent got jade's present cuz i honestly dont know what to get her. i dont wanna be like everyone else that gave her like the same thing. so im still thinking.
ah man i really hope my mom doesnt change her mind about me getting a job. i REALLY need some money. i dont know how imma survive summer with money. without money you cant go anywhere! gas is hella expensive again.
just 2 more days. 2 looooooooooong days. im so glad im on track with my credits. geez everyone is all worrying about getting their rop done. im donee with it (: sweet.
but overall i think this is going to be the best summer yet. especially cuz i have my license this year. so ride wouldnt be an issue.
this roller coaster is too intense for me. hah life has too many surprises and it makes me excited and nervous at the same time.
idk but im pretty freakin excited for senior year. i just wanna get it over with. & college. oo man i am looking forward to college. ahha yee. i just hope things turn out the way i want it to be for once.

relay for lifee

today was alright. picked up krystal and went to lorbeer for relay for life.
found amanda and walked around then went to cvs and bought some arizona. came back and walked some more
there was this kid that was pretty freakin annoying that kept hugging krystal. ahah whatever. we kept walking and walking. esther came. walked with her. then amanda left? idk she disappeared. but we found her again. walked some more. they finally gave out food. so we waited for a long time. haha we got like 4 plates of food. ahhahah. we're such fat asses. we were super full and cold after we ate so we went back to my car and listened to music and took pictures. haha it was fun
now im tired. again.

free membership to la fitness?

lies. i dont believe it. ahha
so i napped when i got homeee. long day once again. 3 more days! & now i really need to get started.

todayy i completely forgot it was friday so i woke up normally like all the other days. like at 7. damn man too effin early. ahah but i ate and stuff. so it was nice.
mara came down and surprised everyone. it was so nice to see esther and mara hug. idk it made me feel happy for them. it was cute. lol
went to the shoppes got super bored. went back to her gma's house then decided to go the food 4 less sortaish. went to db to meet up with cassandra. ahah it was pretty funny. (:
it was fun. dropped off mara. came home and atee. so i waited for like an hr before i fell asleep for like 2 hrs. so here i am now.
and the only reason why i woke up cuz this dumb idiot called me telling me someone said i'd be interested for a free membership at la fitness. and to go down tonight. wth im too lazy for this.
but yeah thats my day. im tired.

dammnn

lakers are fuckin amazing. ahhaha. 3-1
theyre taking it this year. (:

alright day. nothing much happened. finished up malcolm x. really good movie.
presentations for 2nd and 3rd period. i kept eating. lol lunch was alright. 4th period didnt do much. someone told on yamashita about letting use phones in class. idiots. 5th period just getting extra credit. 6th period was super long. took the attendence down with michael. came back up and played cards for the rest of the period. uhhh after school got hawaiian bbq & then starbucks.
ahahh yee.


happy birthday jade.(:

counting down

5 more days. and its all over! yess
well not necessarily. but yeahh (:
just gotta really worry about my bio presentation. i need it. other than that everything is all goooood. no worries
uhhh long day. so sleeepy. took a 3 hr nap it was very niceee. (:
i love what people wrote in my yearbook (:
makes me smile

dont forget

soooo today was whatever super tired. shelly baked jade cupcakes for her birthday on thursday. it looked super good. so i put it on her desk and she was super happy with a big ass smile. (: hahah
it was delicious but made me thirsty. 2nd period presentations. 3rd. more presentations. lunch was whatever. haha i caused a huge scene cuz im too dramatic but it was funny. ahha 4th period mr yamashita played dont forget by demi lovato and i was singing to it . ahha he laughs and plays all these girly pop songs to me and asks if i know it. i didnt know some of them. that period is so chill. but it goes by so slow. 5th period. aced my oral final. sweeet. now we do nothingg. so imma miss the seniors :[. technically we're seniors already. sortaish. 6th period. ate ice cream. worked on my esponjas for spanish. ahha waited after school for andrew. and talked to yuong. amanda. and adam and all those people. it was coooool.
yeeeee. chill today. lakers are playing tonight. sweeeeeet

oo mondays

mondays always feel so long.
first period. watched malcolm x. i really like that movie. pretty intense stuff. & im pretty surprised they didnt talk about the lakers game. dang super intense stuff right there. im so mad that i missed all the good shots cuz i was working on my research paper. i got 16% plagerized. which isnt bad. i expected it to be less though. since i bsed so much of it. ahhah
2nd period. people presented and yeahh nothing really.
3rd period. i presented. i thought i was ready but i guess not and just had a horrible presentation. i can careless though cuz i will end up with an A at the end anyways ahha. that class is a joke.
lunch was whatever. i was doing a magic trick on jade and kayleen. kayleen caught on. shes super smart but jade on the other hand.. ahha
4th period. didnt do much. just did grammar. and uhh gotta do the quote thingy probably tomorrow. lol
5th period didnt do much. just sat around and signed yearbooks. i have an oral final tomorrow. blahh i hate spanish. ahha
6th period. didnt do much. failed my final that i didnt care about. still have an A whateverr.
uhh yeah pretty long and tiring day. im happy. i just ate in n out. lol i REALLY need to stop eating fast food. :[ its so unhealthy. and ive been eating out for a few days now.
jade's birthday is coming up. so is andrew's. dang i feel like i have so much to do. but im too lazy to do it. ahha i STILL have to work on my presentation for biology. which i actually care about. cuz it will bump me up to a B-. i neeeed it.
but overall i hope this week will be good.
i LOVE adam's haircut. he finally did it. im so glad. geeeeeeeeeez. and yeah
brother has a concert tonight. gonna watch him. blahh. i need to start running soon.

3 years went by quickly

im still kinda freaking out how fast these past 3 years have gone by. and now im trying to fix everything with everyone so i can start my senior year good and not all stupid like this school year.
i will miss a lot of the idiotic things ive done. and even though this school year wasnt as great as i expected it to be 2 years ago, im still thankful for all the friends that stuck by my side and all that good stuff. ive learned a lot this year. and im sure i'll learn even more as times goes by. ive gained and lost people on the way. and im glad we all matured in some way. and this week is the last whole week of school left. part of me is kinda sad that its over but at the same time im so happy its over.
but outta all of these 3 years i have to admit that freshmen year was the best. i miss mara terribly and i know that if she stayed everything wouldve been different. but it all happens cuz idk maybe im suppose to learn something from it. and i guess i have. sophomore year was good also. but not as good as freshmen year. cuz we had horrible food. lol but i got closer to people and got to know people for who they are and all that good stuff. i TRY to look past all those flaws. and now. this year. im thankful for all those people that tried to help me and try to understand my stupid problems. problems that i cause myself cuz im dumb. aha but overall ive learned that yelling doesnt get the point across. all the tears. all the screaming. it didnt get me anywhere. so going to let things flow as much as i can. i dont wanna end the school year badly.
ive had my ups and downs. its been a rough ride but its not over yet. hah. im not done until im ready to get off.

almost doneee

done with my subject tests. sweeet.
now for my SAT reasoning. -_-
anyways today was a pretty good day. first took the SATs took about 3 hrs. then got pho with adam.
planned to go to the cooper's house during the day cuz we were too scared. lol but couldnt find it. ahha soo idk maybe friday. uhh then we went to get boba. texted people for ideas as to what to do. but never really got a good sugestion. called esther and she said we should get adam a haircut so we did and yeahh i like it a lot. ahha & his parents like it so its all good
came home. ate. talked on the phone. started my research paper. imma try to finish it up tonight and hopefully be able to get let andrew check it over and turn it in tomorrow night. yeeeeah. then imma try to work on my powerpoint for biology and decide what imma say for my precal presentation on monday. yeah thats it. finals are coming up. im ready for this year to end.

ahh another week a 3 days of school left!

im so glad summer is almost here and school is almost out. dang. ive wanted this school year to end for so long. so tired of it. i still have a bunch of projects to do. dang. still have a report i havent started thats due on monday night. and uhh i need to finish my powerpoint for bio. yeeep. idk the weather is kinda lame. its almost summer and its like all cloudy and stuff. kinda sucks.
buuuut SATs tomorrow. which sucks. might as well get it over with. i dont wanna screw up again. hah. uhh i think that is it. just super happy the school year is almost over.

so

saturday was the most fun ive had for a loong time. ever since sunday ive been in a bad mood. but im getting better.
too much shit is going on and its annoying. just gotta deal with it i suppose. i want finals to be over with. i dont wanna go to school anymore.
im ready for senior year. im done with junior year.
fine art showcase tonight. i hope i can work some things out.

this is by

far the worst day of my life.
the worst year ever.

up was soo cuteeee

so yesterday me andrew and adam went to borders to study for the SAT it was a fail. ugh its exactly like the ap test -_- but eh whatever. then we went to andrew's house cuz dwayne had to drop off the mace and we were playing ping pong. yeah i owned him. talked to his mom. his mom said i lost weight. ahha typical. thenn went inside to check for showtimes for up 3d. andrew's dad went to get pizza while we watched the pokemon movie. lol then his dad got locked outta his car so i had to drive andrew to his church where his mom was and omg i love his church lol. then we got the key and went to little caesars and gave andrew's dad the key and yeah we were talking. his parents LOVE me now. ahhah so ironic. thenn came back home ate. went to the movies. had to get a later showtime cuz it was sold out. so we got the ticket and went to the shoppes. there was a band there playing christian music. they were pretty good. i liked it a lot. andrew didnt wanna leave lol. then went and watched up and i drove adam home. let andrew drive home. he is pretty good. i have to admit. haha (: overall yesterday was a REALLY good day. :]

okaaaaay

my laptop is about to die again. hahaha
so imma make this quick. this weeek went by super fast cuz we only had 3 days of school.
went to the counselor to change my schedule turns out mr douchebag power didnt turn in my request form so now i gotta make sure he really does sign it and turn it in.
uhhhh nhs banquet tonight and lakers are playing. i hope they win
concert last night. pretty good. uhhh pagentry was weird.
aksldjfaskldjf yeah thats it.

braces off fshoo

got my braces off yesterday. my teeth are super sore from the retainers though. retainers hurt more than braces! -_- but yeahh idk its kinda coool. i wont get stuff stuck in my braces anymore :]
uhh still dont know what to do tomorrow. but bbq at my cuzin's today!

.

i actually dont know. felt like posting a blog about absolutely nothing. i dont know what to say.
people are frustrating. andd i want this school year to be over NOW. its been sucha long stressful year. i wish i still talked to some people. i wish i didnt have sucha low patience level. i wish this year was like freshmen year. i wish people would stop trying so hard. i wish gas prices wasnt so high. i wish people wouldnt be so greedy. i wish things couldve been the same as it was last year. yeep
gonna stay home and probably do nothing.

as my laptop is bout to die

im here finishing up the essay. geez i hate them
fios is amazing and i love it. i also love my new laptop. :]
uhh 4 day weekend. im excited. :]

sweeet

didnt go to school today. waiting for the verizon guy to come and install my fios. got my laptop. getting my braces off sunday. 4 day weekend. uhh yee. i really like how things have turned out. i just hope that it stays this way for a while. anyways. so every night i eat like one fourth of a watermelon a day. ahhaha & i needa start going to practice everyday. probably starting next week. fsho. i need run. i ran 20 mins and i was dying. geez. but i'll get back into shape again soon. and yeah jesus wont leave me alone. im getting kinda annoyed. but other than that. things are pretty darn good. i like it.

i love short days

the week went by pretty quickly. getting out early everyday was so nice. i actually had time to nap and still be able to do other stuff when i wake up.
yesterday me and adam stayed after school to help esther and kayleen film their chinese drama. it was pretty funny. and justin kept hurting me. then went to adam's house and waited till 5. in that time we baked some cookies. watched tv. tried to play the piano. and used the computer to read stuff on fmylife.com & thenn picked up krystal and went to a pho place. i havent had pho since march!. ahha thenn went to go watch ghost of girlfriend's past. came out and saw michelle moon, jro, & michael murata. they were just sitting around. then saw coach evan. with a GIRL. it was awkward. haha then everyone left and then we decided to get cherry on top. so we did and then we started talk bout all the lakers game that i didnt watch. -_- took krystal home. took adam home. and yeah came home and called tu and fell asleep on the phone with her. it was a really good day yesterday. it really didnt feel like a friday.
all weeek long we've been playing cards. my newest card game is slap jack right now. (:
well bbq today. i hope nadine is gonna be there. but i highly doubt it :[

wow fml

i took the ap bio test today and wow it was super hard. i was not prepared whatsoever. and idk i kinda thought i might get a 3 but after the essay hell nooo. but eh o well. at least i tried. im so glad we get out early this whole week. i like getting out early. buut cst testing tomorrow blahh -_- at least its easy. haha. hm. its getting pretty hott. & it feels like super already. soo im getting a laptop & fios soon. super happy. and braces off in 2 weeks. dang. and my hair will grow out by the time i take my senior picture soo no problem. :]
mother's day dinner tonight cuz we like to celebrate it after the holiday. haha. but yeahh dang. andrew's birthday is coming up soo now i gotta get him something. & getting tu a hamster for her birthday. summer camp with krystal this summer. it should be good. im super excited. :]
going out this friday. food friday. yee. i like life at the moment. i just dont want another drop. this rollercoaster has way too many drops. i need to start running again for cross country. dang. getting fat over here. ahah.

i haaaaatee bio

so all this week ive been studying for bio. mainly during school though cuz fuck im too fuckin tired after i come home so i nap like every single day! wtf. everyone is stressing over their ap tests cuz like almost everyone i know is taking more than like 2. im taking one and im stressing. woooow. i cant wait to take this stupid bio test and get it over with. seriously. ughh. okaaay so today was chill. didnt do much. took a test in english. pretty easy. thank goodness whoever invented sparknotes!<3
its too fuckin hott. i dont like it. im like burning in my car while driving. geeez. im so glad cst testing is coming up. that means we get out EARLY! hell yeahh. dang. friday going to the beach. tomorrow i have a study session thingy for bio with anderson. and saturday gonna study whatever is left. cuz there is no way finish it up on sunday. had a cross country meeting today. man 170$ for running camp and sweater and all those good stuff. omg. too expensive. fuckk. where am i gonna get moneeeey. i need a job now!!

who is the pimpernette? [sp]

yeahhh went twice and finally saw the whole thing once. it was so good. seriously. im so glad i went and left that lame party early. i was lost in west covina. wow. i couldnt find the freeway i was looking for. but i finally found it at the end and made it on time to pick up adam. and on our way out his mom saw us. not good. but yeah good play. we got fed. and roc was dancing? thats kinda creepy. but it was funny. haha sorta. aw man next year is the last year of high school. kinda good and kinda bad. i was talking to dominick on the phone yesterday. its really rare to talk to him on the phone cuz he never calls me but it was nice even though i barely know him. haha but it was entertaining. hes funny. stupid man whore. buut idk its just weird to even think this year is ending and we're gonna be seniors next year. ap testing is coming closer. and i havent studied. geez. gonna procrastinate all this week. & i havent talked to him on the phone for like 4 days? idk but im pretty bored. and i wanna talk to him. yeeeeah. whatever. im tired. and hungry.

wtf hoe.

you owe me money
pay me back cuz i cannot stand your laugh and your indirect bragging.
just cuz we dont talk anymore doesnt mean you dont owe me
you had money to fuckin go to the musical and to the movies but you cant fuckin pay me back. wtf bitch. youre too fuckin annoying. you quit track stop using ap testing as an excuse. cuz your ass isnt studying anyways. ugh.
there im done venting.
party and musical tonight.
gon be good.

asdfjkl;

so this week as been alright. once again there was ups and downs. but fersure today's rally SUCKED. but yeah whatever. uhh monday i dont remember. haha oo yeah i was gonna go to practice until i found out that there was a speed workout and i was like HAH no. im not going. turned out that the track meet on thursday was cancelled cuz nogales cancelled. tuesday didnt go to practice again but wednesday i did. i ran for 20 mins it was nice. and yesterday i studied for the bio test and went to the musical. omg it was soo long. i had to work for interact and i wasnt even in it. but at least im done with nhs hours now. & yeah but from what i saw it was pretty good. and the show ended like at 10 and i rushed and go outta there and took adam and krystal to eat yoshinoya [sp] & took them home. came home and knocked outt. but today i didnt take the bio test. so i have more time to study cuz everyone said it was hard. dang i need to do good! i need that B ughh. but yeahh.
tomorrow krystal is coming over to spend a night & uhhh cuzin's birthday party. ehh. whatever. im tired. and i want school to end. cant wait. ap testing is almost here. super nervous. not really. but yeah whatever.

okaaay.

woke up around 8ish to go to the spirit thingy with my mom. pretty tripppy. uhh then got boba came home. paid the bills with my mom. gonna get fios :] woot. im so happy ahhah. FINALLY. then came home and waited for my mom to get home and when she did we went to take my brother to get his haircut. come home. texted adam and asked if he can chill cuz everyone else is sorta busy so i picked up him and went to the shoppes. and of course as usual saw someone that we knew. this time it was kyle & his gf, michael and two other chicks. and then me and adam went to in n out. it was good. ahah then target. we stayed there FOREVER. just talking and walking around. finally found a place to sit haha it was nice and funny. i seriously wonder what people think when they see us. ahahh its funny i guess. thenn went to walmart cuz we didnt wanna go home. then it was like 10 already so i took adam home and came home. and yeahh. talked to adam on the phone for about 40 mins or so and his mom came in and sorta gave him a lecture and stuff. asking him where he went and what he did and with who. apparently his mom doesnt really like me. thinking that im a bad influence towards him and im making him lie and stuff. which isnt true. i mean we talk but not even that much. it just so happens that every time he goes out its with me. and i dont go out that often with him either. idk his mom is tripppin.
thenn for like the past week or so michael was mad at me. :[ i didnt even know why but idk we finally talked it out and it was over something that was stupid. miscommunication i suppose. but its all good now. haha but overall a good day. im really looking foward to summer. i really want school to end now.
& i REALLY need to run. do we even have practice still? i dont even know.

yessss weeeekend!

i didnt go to practice for a weeek. including the track meet. i failed my bio test. like real bad. but i can get my grade up hopefully. uhh didnt go to practice either today and i went to jade's house instead. she made me pancakes. it was good. but i was already so full. my goodness. & then we watched lion king and i almost fell asleep. jade fell asleep. ahahh
then we decided to go to winco to buy some chocolate to make some chocolate covered strawberries. it didnt come out so great. but it was delicious. ahha came home workout for a little. showered and here i am (:
nice day i must say. just hope i didnt fail my spanish test. (:
this weeek was pretty bad for me but im glad its over with. & yess i can sleep in. hopefully :]

asdl;jalsdkfj !

ughhhh omg stressss. school sucks. ahh. so i took my bio test and bombed it. geeez. hella hard. i hate PLANTS I HATE THEMMM! & now im getting sick. GREATTT. geez. this weather is too crayz for me. it was hott for 2 days then a good weather for once and today was all cold then hott. geez.
& people are bugging meeee. not really just one person. but that bitch needs to back off and gimme back my money LIKE NOW.

bonelli park<3

i think i spelled it right. i reallly love that park. haha compared to mt sac. i think im going to enjoy cross country. haha im slow but i dont care. its fun. i really enjoy long runs that consists grass. [NICE CUT GRASS] and some sort of lake with duckies. and friendly people. i just really love parks like english springs park and bonelli (:. soo today i woke up around 8 to get ready to go practice. then waited for kayleen to come to go. getting there was fast. but it got hot. me and kayleen were super confused and didnt know where to park. but then we finally found a free parking lot and walked until coach pintor just exit and waited for us to drive us to the top. (: thenn we started to run. the bad thing we didnt stretch before we started but its ok cuz im not dying. ahha uhh the hills were so much easier hahah mt sac hills were killers. man almost killed me but these hills were idk nice. i had no trouble. i ran beside coach for the most park while krystal worked her way up top. there was this huge lake where people rented like boats to go out and fish. haha it was pretty dope. we did the whole park like twice and it only turned out to be like 45 mins. it seem so much longer. haha then coach pintor had cookies, water, bananas, and orange juice. haha i like how he buys us food now.
idk prom tonight and it seems like everyone is super excited about it? idk its just prom. but i guess im only saying that cuz i can go next year also. but whatever. it doesnt matter (:
i just hope everyone makes it safe home and nothing stupid happens. no drinking & driving.

day of silence

this week had its ups and downs. the week started off slow but it got faster as time went on. my grades are pretty good i must say. :] & hm. idk but on monday i ran just about an hr or so at decker. idk if i said that on my last blog or not. and andrew came along and he ran with us. which made me super happy (: then yeah tuesday didnt go to practice. wednesday we ran at uhh i dont remember? hahah yesterday we made this super good azn lookin dish but idk how to spell it. but it was super good. i didnt go to practice. i thought there was a pizza sale at winco but it was on wednesday i got subway instead. drove back to school to drop off andrew cuz he had thursday night rehearsal. and dropped adam back home on the way. uhh today we did the speed workout and i am tired. geez idk but my time sucked haha whatever. last track meet next thursday thank goodness. & yeah im super annoyed at the moment sorta. i dont wanna name any names. but danng i really cant take it anymore. cuz i was talking to victoria and so we basically came up with the idea that we should make a youtube channel on youtube and just make random videos and this hoe comes and says that if i dont wanna be in it then i dont needa be thats my problem. wtf. man i came up with this shit. but im not freakin obsessed over it always talking about it. and i seriously think that shes never gonna pay me back. i mean even if its a little bit of money i still want it cuz i dont mind if shes the type of person that would like pay for me if i didnt have any money. shes the type that will never offer and shit. & she always have money to buy donuts from yuong. wtff. :[ i want my money. especially cuz i really dont have any money left. &tomorrow idk if krystal is coming over with some monsters and marshymellows. ahha idk she might go to the dbhs birthday thingy. gonna stay home up to ap testing to study. cuz yeah no more screwing around. imma work my ass off to pass that ap test. i really want to. it was one of my goals and i gotta fufill it. (: practice tomorrow. bloop. long runs are nice. i like it. calms me down from all the stress. well not really i dont have that much stress. just cant stand how annoying she is at the moment but other than that. then im alright.

oh no blisters :[

soo today was super looong but it was alrightt. i didnt have that big of a problem waking up but it was hard to stay awake in class. first period was boring but it was quicker than normally. bio was just going over notes. and yeahh every class was the same. i kinda dont like the stupid teacher we have in precal. hes kinda boring and tries kinda hard to be funny. uhhh practice was long and tiring. ran for about an hr or so. ran to decker and ran for 45 mins on the grass. -_-
yeaah but i had a good dinner :D & now homework? haha hmm idk.
& its ok mara. everything will be fine (: just keep believin. <3

& yes i cant for this year to be over! im super excited for summer. and yeahh junior year is stressful :[

chubby bunny!

today was funnn.
soo met up with krystal at in n out and ateee. haha dang i was hungry.
thenn we went to chicks & target. got some monsters and then some marshymelllows. and played chubby bunny! and GROSS. i look gross. ahah. it was funn though. then we ended up going to the shoppes again! geez. & we played dress up at forever 21. funn day. (:

aw you miss me? :]

okaaay woke up at 8 and took kayleen to mt sac for our long run. krystal got lost. aah :] but we found her and took her to mt sac. & yeahhh 3 mile run. (: woo accomplished. & i finished one work sheet for bio and antwon is gonna do the other one. woooot. dang what a way to end the week. no stresss. (:
soo me and krystal are gonna go to in n out later. cuz i want in n out again. ahahh im a fatie.
andrew just calllled. after a week. geeez. what a weenie face.
but yes. school is coming close again. and yeah i dont care anymore. i dont mind going to school anymore. i guess.

.

spring break is practically OVER. and ugh. havent done much productive. i still have homework that i havent done. i havent readd. geez. imma try to get that done tonight.
spring break went by too quickly and im not ready to go back to school. ugh. i hate school.
& i have practive at mt sac tomorrow. i mean running is nice. well after the workout that is. uhh i hope things work out tomorrow. cuz i havent gone out for like 3 days. and it'll be nice to be able to go out tomorrow. cuz i know i wont go anywhere on sunday. gotta procrastinate. :[
uhh this weather kinda sucks. i dont like it. seems like its gonna rain but it didnt. sorta. & it makes me sleepy and lazy. which isnt good. the worksheets for bio are hard and i cant find shit in the book. goshh. but yes things better work out tomorrow or else imma be madd.

fail

yeah i didnt do good on the SAT too effin embarrassing. anyways. uhhh today i waited for andrew to get home and i went to go pick him up then went to krystal's. i lost weight. i think its cuz i didnt eat all day. but yeahh. then we went to la puente. walked around. then we went to soup plantation and ate. a lot. :] it was nicee. then we went to peterson park and took pictures and just sat there in the rain sorta ish. ahah krystal is an idiot. seriously. ahah funny stuff. & took krystal home. took andrew home. went sorta a long way and saw these really nice houses in philips ranch. haha yeahh. pretty good day. practice tomorrow. blahhh.

im not ready

ahh today has been a long day.
i woke up around 8ish to go to practice at 9.
practice was tiring. i ran for like half an hr or so. & i was dying. then i got home showered and went with my parents somewhere. then i finally went to ashley's party thingy. it was alright i suppose. i was hella annoyed though. then me and adam went to lollicup and walked around the shoppes drinking boba. it was chill. i havent talked to adam for a while. haha & then we went to target and walked around target idk how many times and i finally took him home. and here i am.
time is going by soo slow. haha. SAT scores come in tonight. sorta. im super nervous. :[

i knew it

last nighttt was entertaining. somewhat. i got jesus to admit to me that he still likes me. not a big surprise actually. i already knew. i was on the phone with tu till like 2 in the morning. talking bout nothing. it was fun. ahha and i went to rose hills yesterday to visit my gpa. its been a while. i miss him. a lot. :[ it took us forever to get there. i drove the lexus. and its a pain the butt. but its a nice e experience.
today i didnt do much either. stayed home and slept. it was nice. and tomorrow. i have practice in the morning -_- & imma go to ashley's afterwards. and maybe hang out with krystal if she gets back early from vegas. yeahh thats the plan for now.

FINALLY SPRING BREAK!

ive been waiting for spring break for a loooong time. !
dang. im so glad. the only hw i have is bio and everything else is just blahh. :] no more projects
no more school for a weeek. danng. its like the last day of school. ahha. buut gotta have plans for this weeek. if not its nice to stay home and sleeep. i really needa catch up on my sleep. like ive been grumpy as fuckk. and everyone is pissing me offf. buut things are all good now.
soo uhh monday was long. so was tuesday. tuesday i had a track meet. los altos are pretty good. haha i came in last :[ buuuut its ok. i didnt care. haha wednesday was alright. yesterday we had another meet at bonita and damn theyre goood. ahha super fast. yeahh today was pretty long too. didnt do much though. the most work i did was in bio ahah. dang i just realized that the ap test is coming up REALLY SOON. omg. im not ready for it. buut my SAT score is coming in soon and im kinda scared to know what i got. but yes spring break is here and im glad.

save me im lost

okaaayy soo yesterday was hella tiring. i woke up around 730ish to go to practice. and yeahh we did a mile warm up -_- geez. then we did the speed workout. i improved. i went from like 2 mins to 1 35. thats my fastest so far. pretty good i suppose. uh track meet on tuesday & thursday. -_- blah.
thenn i came home. slept. shower. ate. yeeahh. then i went to garey for the band festival. and uhh yeah good job drhs. then krystal came over and we went to red robins. watched i love you man. and ate pinkberry. it was a really good movie. haha funny stuff. the guy at red robins was super nice. we order one drink he gave us 2 cuz he "accidentally" made 2. soo o well. he only charged us for one (: how nice of him. uhh we were gonna watch knowing. but it was hella packed and after i love you man was over the movie already started so we just went to get pinkberry. i havent had pinkberrry for a while. i was good. i felt pretty fat. but im glad i ran yesterday morning. &then i fell asleep on the phone with adam. hah.

i really cant sleep

i cant sleeeeep. i wanna sleeep soo badly. but i cant fall asleep.
i failed my bio test. and i thought i did well. -_- stupid bio.
ughh buuut things are bugging me. people are bugging me still. & im worried all at the same time.
idk. today was alright i suppose. didnt do much. im so glad that we didnt present our spanish project today. i was NOT prepared. and yeahh. buut tomorrow. gonna go to practice at 8 in the morning. and im hella tried. i havent slept in for a long time and its horrrrible. i cant wait till spring break. thenn imma go to garey and watch those band weenies perform. uhhh. & movies yeahh thats the plan. i think thats it. im tired. im tired of everything.

procrastinating.

so im sitting here procrastinating a project that was assigned to us since the beginning of the month. ugh. i hate how i do everything at the last min
i tried to get this done as early as i can but i just dont have time. and adam doesnt have time. ugh.
so basically i just translated like 2 paragraphs from english to spanish. i dont even think it makes any sense. im hella tired from the track meet. and im still up working on this stupidass project. ugh. lksdjlasjdf i wish i finished it like yesterday. but too bad we never get anything done.! ugh. but yeah track meet was fun today except the ref was a bitch. and disqualified krystal for wearing a friendship bracelet. idiot. stupid hoe. but yeah i didnt come in last so im good. i improved my 400 i think. i was going pretty fast but i got hella tired and slowed down :[ . whatever i didnt come in last.
buuut yeah this weekend should be good.
tomorrow is finally friday. buuut i have practice. & i have 2 track meets next week -_- fml.

freakin a

soo yesterday i woke up super early. not cuz i was going to a track meet but cuz i did school clean up for community service. ugh. it took forever. maybe cuz i didnt do much but sit around and watch people. ahahha buuut it ended at 12 something. and then went to mcdonalds to visit cindy and get some ice cream. haha thenn me and adam stayed at jade's till like 7 cuz his mom wont let us do the project ourselves in his house. but we actually got the drawing down. and now we needa color and write the essay in spanish -_-. buut we're gonna finish that up today. hopefully.
we found a cute doggy but we had to let it go cuz it isnt ours. even though my mom wanted to keep it. lucky was super jealous ahah. but it was a very friendly dog. and uh yeah. track meet this thursday. ughh. i got fast though on my 400s (:
sorta. not really.

btw i saw barack obama today in pomona and thenn ne and krystal ate subway and ice cream at mcdonalds then we went to kayleen's house & went to click

realizing why things are the way it is

i was on the phone with him last night as usual and idk i guess i pushed him away for so long, cuz he did the same to me, that it felt so good to finally be able to open up to him once again.
it was the first time in a long time that i actually broke down. & my life is like running that last 400 meter. im running out of oxygen and i have no more energy to keep running but i push myself to get to the finish line although the finish line doesnt seem to get any closer and all i wanna do is give up and start walking. my life is so complicated but isnt everyone else's? i always keep it to myself and put on a mask to let everyone know that sure im ok dont worry about me. i dont want others to worry about me like when i worry about them. its just something i dont want happening. hes right i should just take off my mask for one day and let everyone know how im really feeling. but whats the use? i HONESTLY dont think anyone cares. and there is no way anyone can help. saying "oo things will get better" NO IT WILL NOT. and "patience" DOESNT WORK EITHER. PRAYING DOESNT WORK. NOTHING WORKS. ive tried it all. all those 11:11 wishes, praying at night, and waiting for things to get better has yet to come. i feel like if i were to wait any longer i will die. im on the verge of dying. it kills me a little bit everyday. it sounds a bet emo. but its just what im feeling. im always in a bad mood and i try my best not to take it out on others. life sucks and thats the end.

i dont know i really dont know

im so frustrated. everyone is getting on my nerves. ughh imma shoot someone.
i likeee himmmm but he has a gf now
ughhh. timing is so bad it makes me mad. :[
i just wish things will get better.

knocked out

okkk soo this week was alright. nothing really. i really wasnt excited whatsoever for sadies. buuuut on thursday we had a track meet and i didnt come in last thank God. and this chick tried to outsprint me but nah i beat her (: umm. friday. we had a bio test and yeah super stressing. & then after school i took adam and veronica home. and i went to go pick up adam. then i went home got ready and went to krystal's house. and richard was there just doing whatever. and krystal was doing her hair for the longest time. ahha. then we finally left for knotts and go there super early but we were also one of those people that got in early so that was good. i had to say that in the beginning it pretty much SUCKED. but towards the end when we started to loosen up a bit it started to get fun. everyone was in a bad mood. at least i was and krystal got mad cuz no one wanted to dance with her. richard was being a weenie. and stephen kept leaving and coming back cuz of fang. but i didnt matter. i could careless. we mainly went on boomerang and supreme scream. xcellorator wasnt open so it was a bummer cuz im sure everyone wanted to go on that. uhh yeahh it got better towards the end.
yesterday [saturday] i took my SATs. o goshh i was so tired. i came home like around 12ish from knotts and i woke up at 630ish to shower and stuff. but yeah im super glad that im done with my SATs and now i gotta wait like a month for my results. after SATs me, bianca, adam & tu went to get pho and it was soo good. i was craving for some for the longest time. & i had a food baby. :[ i gained 3 lbs. aghhh. buuut it was good. then we walked around the shoppes and saw mr. marquez. ahah then paige and judy came outta nowhere. and i took everyone home and yeahh.
i freakin knocked out last night around 8ish. omg i was so tired. dang.

asdkljasdfklasdfj ONCE AGAIN!

today i was suppose to go to the shoppes and get pinkberry with krystal & take my brother to target to buy his crap. buuuuut nope. i waited for my mom to go to 99 ranch and stuff to buy her stuff and krystal was already checking out when we got there and she disappeared and i kept calling her but she didnt answer so i was like uh ok then. when she finally called back she was already home -_- so o well. i came home and pigged out and watched magic school bus <3 i miss that show. ahah uhhhh yeahhh. SATs saturday. track meet thursday & sadies friday. er. too much. buut yeaaah gonna chill after SATs i think? idk maybe. & last night outta nowhere chloe IMed me asking me to go to the movies with her so i did and we watched caroline. pretty good movie i must say. good effects. i liked it a lot. tim burton is amazing.

seriously?

it took me FOREVER to get my sadies ticket. & krystal lied and said that friday was the last day. -_- but everyone was getting it. and yeah i finally got mine and stephen's cuz he had practice. i didnt go to practice cuz my shin hurts & im was too lazy and cold yesterday.
right now i wanna go watch the watchmen. too bad andrew isnt picking up and krystal is at the doctor's getting her physical. dang man we have our first track meet this THURSDAY. so freakin close. imma die. im too slow :[ but its worth a try i suppose.
i fell asleep on tu last night but then i woke up and she was the one that ended up falling asleep on me. like she didnt even hear me anymore. ahhah so i just hung up. i was so bored and time went by so slow yesterday. i shouldve gone to practice. might as well. we just ran for 20 mins. which is so much easier than the speed workout. er. buuuut yeahhh imma take lucky to the vet at 3. hopefully i'll go to movies afterwards if everything works out fine. if not then i'll probably come home and be bored again. lame. but overall i think this week went by quick. & some people are getting on my nerves. and idk why.

im tired of it.

i want everything to be better already. although things are running smoothly somewhat i still want my old life back. everything is so frustrating. i want junior year to end already! i want summer to come. i miss summer. blahh. i complain too much. its like the only thing i can do. time is a pain in the butt. and i hate how EVERYTHING takes time. well i hope sadies will be fun. im sure it is.
& today was alright. boring. i think the most interesting class today was biology. we had to taste that nasty thingy today. i remember doing that freshmen year. gross. & we had "sex" riiight. but it was fun. and the period went by quick.
i feel so lazy and tired cuz of practice everyday. but i feel like im actually getting a workout for once. which is good. i cant believe i ran haha. & i think andrew was laughing at me -_- meanie.

you should get your facts straight before saying anything

ok soo today was alright. i really wasnt in the mood of running today. but i did anyways. so practice was alright. we ran for 40 mins. aha. umm. the assembly was alright actually. idk it was mostly hula club. but the dancers were pretty good. dang sadies is coming up quick. and i barely got my contract cuz stephen is cheap! & SATs is coming closer. er. whatever. but yeah things are running pretty smooooth. except i dont like the fact that people say things that arent even truee. its just bugs so much. but i dont like drama at all so whatever. i'll just ignore it for now.
my grades are good. gas is going down a little bit. saturday imma run. and track season is gonna start sooooon. i think? haha

CONTINUED!
ok so i went to krystals around 4ish. and then we ran 3 laps. then called up stephen. not really we texted him and we walked to his house and found him riding his long board along with michael, steven and some other guy idk. it was fun. it took us forever to get up that hill though. and stephen didnt think we'd make it. but we did.! krystal rode the long board (: it was fun. then we walked back and krystal fed me yay. i didnt gain weight. and ive been eating a lot lately. woot. today was funn.

comfort

dang i was soo bored last night. i was on the phone with tu till like 2. talking bout random things. BUUUT shes gonna burn me magic school bus. dang i miss that show. it was so bomb. umm. idk my stomach kinda hurts. but im still gonna run today. after krystal comes home from picking her dad up at the airport. people are bugging me AGAIN. im trying to hard not to let it get to me. but i feel like i cant handle it anymore. most of the time im just quiet now. i dont even know what to say. i dont wanna end up yelling at them and stuff. cuz at this point i dont wanna lose anyone on the way. everything is very stressful now. ap tests. cst i guess. and SATs. imma take it in less than like a month and im not even ready. ay fail. buut i will attempt to study. hopefully i score decent. & i just lost my train of thought. er. o well. i'll write more later. maybe.

something is better than nothing

soo this week has been alright i suppose. um i did kinda bad on my ap bio exam. but i still have a b- which isnt bad. but i honestly dont know my spanish grade. uh things are kinda chill today. i didnt have practice. so i stayed in ms chiu's room with krystal and kayleen came in later on after practice. and we were just listening to all these chinese music on ms chiu's ipod. ahah thenn i was suppose to meet up with irvin at lollicup but he never text back so i thought he wasnt gonna go. and ms chiu wanted to go out and eat and stuff. hahah so we went to lollicup and saw irvin there. so he went afterall. i didnt think he was gonna go but he was there with crystal and he was surprised to see so many people. then i talked to irvin and crystal for a bit but then they left. so me, krystal, kayleen, and ms chiu sat there talking about school. ahah i never thought i'd go to lollicup with a teacher. hahah which is awkward. but it was chill. & tuesday im not gonna do the speed workout woot. gonna help ms chiu grade papers. ahahah yee.
i needa run though this weekend. probably with krystal. if she runs. but we'll see.

yeah sure

practice was alright today. i thought it was gonna rain so i didnt bring my stuff to school so i drove bianca home to get her stuff and i went home and changed got back to school just before they were gonna start. we stretched and did a 2 lap warm up thingy and then we ran back and forth and we finally ran for 20 mins. me and krystal did good today since we barely even stopped. we ran most of it and we were pushing bianca. hahah idk but i feel fat now cuz i just ate after i worked out. but school was alright i guess. 2nd period went by soo slowww. i dont even understand what we're doing right now in bio like im not paying attention and we have a test thursday? and by the end of the week we have a history test. my grades are pretty good. 4 a's 1 b and a c? idk what i have in spanish. umm. lunch i was pretty annoyed actually. jade kept throwing orange peels at andrew and they kept throwing it at each other it got pretty annoying. and thenn 4th period was alright. we watched a movie about mark twain. it killed time. i didnt do my essay. like no one did. 5th period we did a poster thingy explaining the steps for conjucation. 6th period was hella slow. idk so lame. buut i guess overall it was a decent day. i just hope it gets a little better later. cuz idk. practice was the only good part actually.

btw. i do NOT drive fast. like at all. i dont see how people get that idea. just cuz you drive slow doesnt mean i drive fast.

what is 69?

krystal honestly didnt know what that meant. wooow. buuut anyways
i was hella pissy last night. so i went to go watch andrew and my brother play at garey and andrew did super well like usual and my brother i have no idea how he got a superior. they pretty much sucked. idk i was so surprised. then later i went to petco and bought some stuff for lucky cuz his skin is itchy and ish. idk whats wrong but its so sad. :[
then i got my tire changed and waited for krystal to come and we went to monclair to shop and stuff. i saw a bunch of people yesterday. and thenn we met up with andrew at the shoppes.
we played hide n seek and he NEVER found us and he just gave up. which kinda piss me off cuz then hes like oo come find me instead. wth. but i found him easily so whatever. but my legs hurt real bad and i couldnt walk so i told him to carry him and he wouldnt so i was like wow jerk. so me and krystal left him again and went to this little market and then tj. after we walked out we ran into them again and we left again cuz he was being a total jerk so me and krystal ended up eating johnny rocket ourselves. it was pretty funny cuz dang krystal was hella loud. ahhahah. shes dirty too. dang. ovulating or what? idk whats her problem. ahhah afterwards we sat there and decided to watch the water change colors. it always make me feel better. until those little kids started playing in it so we left and krystal has to pee so we went into barnes and nobles again. and once again we saw them. and we just stood there looking at books and messing with the touch screen computer and we ended up in this romance section and it has some pretty interesting pictures. idk i think it was stupid. then we went into the sexual and relationship section cuz krystal didnt know what 69 was and she wanted to know and no one wanted to tell her. so we were all there and this old white lady kept looking at us as we were looking through the books it was so awkward. she looked at us and smiled. awkwarddd. but yeah then we ended up in the jokes section and they were reading these stupidass jokes. it wasnt very funny. until they came across this yo momma joke book which was a little better. thenn i took krystal home and it was dead quiet in the car. cuz i was in a bad mood and she knew it and didnt say anything. yep then i fell asleep on the phone with tu after i complained to her about everything. anddd yeah. he never called either. dumb hoe. but whatever now i have nothing else to do but homework.
im still hella sore but im feeling a little better. im so glad its gonna rain tomorrow so i dont needa go to practice. cuz i think i need at least another 2 days for me to get better. i cant even run hahaha. i walk like krystal. :[
i hope this week it gets better. & im not even read for SATs and its coming up quick. and i needa get my ap paper fixed. it says im hispanic? -_-

imy

sometimes i wish i can spend more time with certain people. but it just doesnt seem like timing is right. it was nice to see people at garey high school today. i havent seen them for sucha long time. and like it was just awkward. we didnt have much to talk about. its just weird. some of them remember me and some doesnt. and its just sad cuz we were once close and now when they walk past me they cant even recognize me. but hey whatever. haha

i really miss him. like a lottttt. i wanna spend more time with him but i feel like i cant cuz hes so busy and stuff. and it just makes me sad. and im so glad that i FINALLY joined a sport cuz now its going to kill more time. and yeah. idk today was alright i suppose. i actually have plans. i guess we're going to go shop for sadies and then go get pinkberry. cuz im craving for pinkberry cuz of sarah's myspace. ahaha.

& new semester. well its been a new semester and im proud of myself cuz my grades are actually pretty good. i only have like 1 bad grade. i think idk what my spanish grade is and ap bio im doing pretty well.

march is coming up fast and im nowhere near ready for the SATs and sadies is coming up. oo gosh. i dont even know if stephen is going anymore. and if he really doesnt go then it just makes it easier for me. but if he does go then o well. i dont wanna leave kayleen and krystal hanging. but im sure things will turn out finee.

I CANT EVEN WALK

its just that bad. im like freakin limping. HAHAH. BUT im actually getting a workout.
the warm up lap was nothing today. but then everything after that was HORRIBLE. we had to do these jumping exercises in the sand. and omgg it was hard. it hurt like hell. & tomorrow gonna watch my brother and andrew at solo ensemble. and uhh might go shopping for sadies. idk if i wanna go anymore. im so lazy. hahahah wow. but yeeeah. thats it. im too sore to even move. geez.

epic fail

if i had one thing to say to one person it would be FAIL FAIL FAIL !
mara knows why (:
i really feels nice to talk to mara again. i guess she was busy with her soccer stuff and homework. and since she has a week off (dumb hoe) she gets to talk to meee (:
anyways. um. im really really tired. i went to practice today for the first time and damn im TIRED. yesss. but i feel great. cuz its a really good workout even though i felt like dying at that moment. but im glad that the coach was pushing us. helping us to get better? idk its only the first day. i cant handle it. haha but i hope i get better. buuut chocolate milk makes it all better (:
but yeah im tired. and i dont think i have hw. cuz i think i finished it. thank goodness. and i think thats it. yep. im in a better mood today. woot.

liar liar pants on fire

hanging from a telephone wire.
soo today was pretty decent. two people i knew asked boys to sadies which was interesting. i guess the only things that made my day was jade actually taking the time to make me hot chocolate and giving it to me at school. & chris tucker (: i miss her. i havent talked to her for like a while and i feel like ive been missin out on A LOT. idk things are just so aghh right now. and im kinda glad that andrew called last night and we talked for a whole hr or so. and then i was texting chan and adam sortaish. didnt tutor today but imma go to practice tomorrow. pay for my ish. and start tutoring again. i think my grades are pretty decent. except in spanish. i think im failing? o well it'll go up hopefully.

lying is so stupid. I HATE LIARS. seriously. it pisses me off when people switch up the story to make themselves sound right. and some people are just BAD at lying. its just so obviously and they think they can get away with it. they cant. everyone can see it but no one cares that much obviously. & another thing that bugs me is that people are such hypocrites. i guess everyone is though. but still if you say youre not gonna do something then do it! dont go around telling everyone "oo yeah i dont do this anymore" and then do it. its just STUPID. and people who brag about EVERYTHING are just losers. seriously. why are you gonna brag? just cuz you THINK youre so good at it? but in reality youre probably not as good as you think you are? wth man. FAIL. you probably just wanna make yourself feel better i suppose. i mean if youre really that good you dont needa brag about it people will know themselves and point out "oo yeah youre good" i dont understand people. i dont understand boys.

silence is golden

today was by far one of the worst school days EVER. it had its ups but most of the time ive been downn. i didnt talk to him ALL day cuz i decided that i'll stop talking to him and stuff. but idk it felt horrible. its so hard to NOT talk to him. i didnt realize that talking to him mad me so happy. i dont know i have too much in mind. irvin's birthday is tomrorow and i was gonna bake him cupcakes but decided not to cuz things just came up. family problems. boy problems. ugh i dont know what to do. i dont like this. and i dont think imma go to sadies anymore. idk SATs the next day just kills it. idk things are just.. ugh.. horrible..

YOURE FUCKIN RIGHT ARE YOU FUCKIN HAPPY NOW FUCK

i fuckin hate my parents. theyre so fuckin useless and shit. fuck man. always think theyre fuckin right when theyre not and they always fuckin think that everything for us is so fuckin easy. fuck that shit. you think fuckin school is so easy? she fuckin swears everything i fuckin do only consists of going out. wtf. man she fuckin makes it sound like i dont give a fuck about school. fuck man i cant wait to fuckin go to college fuck that shit. ugh stupid fuckin piece of shit. fuck my life.

too worked up about nothing

well im glad the sun is out today. its a very nice day. (: hm. today i woke up and went to go get my physical. and i lost 3 lbs. idk how cuz i ate so much yesterday. ahha weird. anyways. umm. i havent done much but washed my car and it took forever. hahah and it still looks crappy. geez. i dont have plans this weekend. so imma just stay home and sleeeep. cuz i dont think we're gonna have another break till spring break in april. which is a while from now. hmm. im super excited for march. not really just for sadies cuz i wanna go to knotts. haha & thenn SATs boo. i havent studied yet. but i think i should soon. im actually gonna go to practice on tuesday so imma be super sore. blahh.
but things are pretty chill right now. im kinda excited for tuesday. idk. krystal might come over today if her mom gets home in time. i suppose. other than that thats all for today. oo and its valentine's day. even though it doesnt feel like it. cuz i really dont care about it? haha idk i think its dumb but i really like candy (: victoria made some bomb ass cupcakes on friday haha mmm. and i got some other stuff from bianca and thats it. valentine's day is just whatever. haa especially cuz i never have a valentine but its ok. & i really want unlimited texting hahah. (:

im so glad things worked out just fine (:

okaayyy so today i asked him to sadies. ms olsen thought it was cute cuz hes cute and smart -_- which i highly doubt. but she thought that i made a good choice which made me feel a little better. so in the morning i gave notes to his teachers to give to him when he has that class but ms nguyen messed up or something and never gave it to him and told him that she doesnt have it. so that kinda messed things up. but then at the end everything turned out fine. and a simple question was all it took. i shouldve just asked him straight out i suppose. with no creativity? haha lame. but mine was kinda cheesy. ahhah but his best friend told me he was super excited cuz he knew automatically someone was asking him to sadies. ahha aw (:
uhm. i hope things work out later on when sadies comes closer. andd i really needa study for SATs cuz i have it the next day after sadies -_-. bummer

oh & i dont understand why people talk about others behind their back so much its ridiculous. they talk about them as if they know them so well but in reality they dont. and its just annoying. no one wants to be talked about but everyone does it to others making it seem like its ok. and as for me if im talking shit about you you'll probably hear it from me. but i dont do it often really. it kinda just annoys me. actually. idk i guess its just high school and thats what everyone does. GOSSIP. they talk about it even if its not true. they dont care i suppose. especially girls. its like all girls want drama or something. ( got it from 'hes just not that into you') they make it seem like they understand them and make everything that a person does seem so negative. hah.

I WANT TO PLAY TETRIS!

ive been addicted to that stupid game for the past week. dang. :[ thats so sad.
ahahha
anyways
ummmm. lets seee. i didnt do anything over the weekend cuz of the rain and my mom didnt want me to drive around in the rain. but on monday i finally got the car so i drove to krystal's and we went to la puente to meet up with andrew. it was fun. and we watched hes just not that into you. i liked it a lot. (: ahhah me and krystal cried. WOW. LAME. KRYSTAL FINALLY GOT TEXTING. dang about time.
ugh i hate the cold weather right now. its too cold :[ and its freezing in just about every single class. its so sad. mr power is crazy. he doesnt even bother to turn on the heater. it was colder in his class than outside. then mr anderson was nice enough to turn it on and it finally worked! its not broken anymore! and i got a B on my first exam wooooot. (: i should really study more though.
hmmmm. soo my grades are actually pretty good. haha im so happy that im not failing bio like i did in the beginning of first semester.
i think thats it. ? o i can finally see nadine again. :] i havent seen her for a while. haha shes so adorable.
and um.. idk people are kinda annoying me right now. cuz like they always misunderstand all the things i do or say seriously. idk. people try so hard but for what? you dont needa try that hard to talk to someone. just talk i suppose? and if they dont wanna talk to you then O WELL move on. friends come and go. and i really hate that but its true. and if because its true just deal with it i suppose. theres not much you can do about it. stop chasing after them and let them go.

i know ive been holding back

dang. i dont like how it rains every other hour. & right now theres sun? uh okayy. yesterday i went to active to get my lanyard. but they didnt have anymore so me and kayleen went to sport chalet and looked for running shoes. we didnt find anything we wanted sooo we went to marshalls? anddd. thenn we walked to big 5. nothing was there either. so we left and went to khol's. it took us forever to find a pair of shoes that were decent price. then i went to another active and bought the lanyard. blahh. looong week. loong day. its only 1:22. blahh
im soo boredddd & krystal is at the airport right now. i wanna go out but there is nowhere to go. im actually READING. ugh.

i almost had you

school is longer every single day. biology is soo long. all we do is take notes and since yesterday i didnt pay attention im completely lost today. blahh. everything is so repetitive. wake up go to school come home from school eat. sleep. those are the basic routines. i seriously want something new. something for me to look foward to. something that makes me want to go to school. im so tired of it. i just wish that things werent so boring. i think too much. i suppose. well at night at least. like i said its only the times when im alone with no one to talk to that i think a lot. i really wish i didnt cuz it just makes me sad. and i guess lately ive been mood swinging a lot more lately? i dont even know. at school im normally alright but its the times when im at home with nothing better to do. i mean it sounds kinda weird to say but i really feel like im lost. i dont know where im going. i have plans but im not sure if those plans are what i really want. time is flying right past me and before i know it, its gonna be graduation and everyone is going off to their college and do what theyre gonna do. but as for me idk what imma do. sure imma go to college and stuff but i have no idea what i wanna do like at all. stress stress stress i REALLY HATE junior year. i thought it would be so much fun but its all about grades grades grades SATs grades SATs grades ughhhhh. i hate it. i just wanna take a break. a weekend isnt enough for me. it goes by way too quickly and i hate it. and now its 2nd semester which means things are gonna be even worse. more homework. ap test. SATs. aye. and as for sadies. i dont even know if imma go. SATs is the next morning... ugh geez.

im lovin your haircut

soo yesterday krystal came over and stufff. & slept over. we went to adam's house cuz yeah i had to work on my spanish project and he didnt go to school so i decided that we'll just do it at his house. so we did and we stayed there till 9 and did NOTHING. just watched spongebob and talk about random things. then last night krystal almost kicked me off my bed again. but yeah half the time i was paranoid i didnt wanna fall off the bed. she took up more than half the bed.! stupid fat ass. (: then i woke up all early danng. and we ate egg rolls (: cuz my mom made some. haha thenn we got ready and called up adam and asked if he was gonna go with us today. all we did was go to monclair mall. then we went to the shoppes i wanted that active keychain cuz its cheap compared to the ones they had at like tilly's but i shouldve bought the other one at monclair. it was 4 bucks also. this stupid azn/white lady almost hit me today. i was pissed. made me feel like i was a bad driver but her ass came outta nowhere. seriously. like half her car was blocking the whole lane! wth stupidass driver. then we went to tilly's and normstorm rack. ahah just looked around. went to juice it up. dang that was good. haha today was hella hott. we went to target and saw my cuzin. ugh watch my cuzin is gonna be talking ish and say that adam is my bf or something. ughh they always say i have a bf. wtf maaan. so annoying. we were reading valentine's day cards and dancing to the ones that had old school music. hahah then we sat on those chairs that rock in the backyard and looked through the magazine. then we got bored again and went to tj max. didnt find any running shoes we wanted. so we left and took adam to get his haircut and fantasic sams. haha and maan im so glad i took him. cuz now he looks so much better. you can actually see his eyes! but too bad his mom doesnt like it. o well. haha but overall today was fun. and now im super tired. didnt get enough sleep. and since march is coming up soon quick. gotta sign up for my SATs. i'll try tomorrow. as well as procrastinating on my outline for my precal project and think bout who and how imma ask to sadies. ;]

all it takes is a smile

well life has it ups and downs right? i have my ups and downs like all the time. idk how many times throughout the day. this morning i was pissed off at my grade. then all throughout lunch i was so disappointed. i hate it when you expect something but it comes out the complete opposite. it just makes me mad. i was so sure that imma get better grades but now i highly doubt it after knowing my score for my finals. i need to step up and start studying. im so glad its a new semester so it gives me a chance to get better grades. i guess my up for today was driving home with bianca. we stopped by subway and got something to eat and left. but there are also other little things that makes me sad. and it only happens when i have nothing better to do than lay in my bed thinking. i hate thinking at night it just makes me sad. its been so long now. almost like half a freakin year and im still completely over it and it just makes me mad and sad at the same time. like i feel like things are getting better but it isnt. i know he cares but he doesnt say so. and i feel like hes trynna avoid me but at the same time hes trying to talk to me more? i dont even knowww. like last night. omg its the first time in a long time that i cried. i hate crying. i dont even know why i cried. i just did. and its just annoying. but then today im completely fine. its only when its late at night and im not talking to anyone. i just lay there staring at my ceiling thinking about him. and then when victoria told me about her sister like i actually know what shes going through. its horrible. and it just reminded me of the pain that i went through. i thought that my feelings are gone but theyre not. theyre still there and i dont like it. i try so hard but its not getting me anywhere. i dont believe that if you try hard enough you will get it. no way. ive been trying so hard and its not working at all. and then i try talking to another guy and he just doesnt reply half the time so i dont even bother anymore. hes just so busy i suppose. everyone is busy nowadays. and now that i have first lunch it just makes the day soo much longer. i guess the only thing i look foward to now is just driving to school and seeing him. i just wanna give up. seriously. but someone once told me not to give up. so i guess i'll try my best not to. if theres a down there must be an up?

adam is lame

so im talking to adam and hes saying that blogs are lame. which isnt true cuz it helps me keep track of memories somewhat. today i waited for my mother to come home with the car soo i can go out. krystal came over just when my mom came home. and her mom was pissed haha. freakin krystal. anyways. we went to the shoppes cuz its my brother's birthday & then we met up with andrew and jade. thennn we just talked, walked around, and played paper rock scissors. -_-. thennn we went to carls jr. ate. and man we were the loudest ones in there. we were laughing at my brother. ahahah idiot. then we went to target and couldnt find anything. took a few pictures and decided to leave. so i took andrew home the long way. idk hes stupidd. then got gas and went back home. overall today was good. & then we played rock band and krystal couldnt play the drums cuz she had no rhythm to anything. yeep tomorrow gonna clean and stuff. & then monday is chinese new year. i thought tomorrow was chinese new year but its only chinese new years eve. (: yeee.
amy's birthday tomorrow. ahah freakin old maaan. things are getting betterr thats fersuree :]

LICENSED!

finally! so last night i couldnt sleep cuz well i was happy/excited/scared all at the same time so i just called tu cuz shes the only person i knew that was awake at that time and we talked till like 2 30 until i finally decided to hang up and try to sleep. andrew texted me this morning and wished me luck (: <3 and i got up and got ready for the dmv. and watched a little of the thingy this morning. and then i went and there was this huge line luckily i didnt needa wait in line. i just went straight to window 1. and they checked my stuff. and yeah got into the car and waited forever. dang then i ended up with the guy that failed this chick before me. i thought i was gonna fail. he kept marking stuff and idk why. and then he said i never check when i change lines which is bull cuz i did and i did it really slowly too to make sure he saw me. but apparently he didnt. but yeah i passed and im glad. andd i went back to school. and now i gotta wait until my mom gets me insurance so i can finally drive on my own. dang ive waited for this for so long. not really. that 6 months went by so quickly. and now i gotta study for my spanish final tomorrow. and then study for my bio test that i missed today. blahh. fml. well im sure imma do ok? haaha if i study.

ugh stupid JERK

ok so last night the plan was me krystal AND IRVIN to go see the unborn. me and krystal got there early cuz thats the only ride we had and i texted irvin to see if hes almost there. he told me hes gonna be late and save him a seat. and so we did. the movie was starting i texted him and he doesnt text back until it was already half way into the movie and told me oo i cant get in. so krystal went to go get him and i told him that too. but nope just when krystal left to get him he text back saying oo he left. WTF. if you werent gonna come just say that youre busy and cant make it. we're not gonna get butt hurt. the only reason why i was so fuckin mad was cuz he told me ALL WEEK that he was going and he was suppose to be our ride home. so after the movie me and krystal was stuck at harkins with no ride. luckily justin was nice enough to come pick us up. man stupid fuckin idiot. i swear. im not gonna talk to him fuck that. he probably didnt even come and just say he did. geez screw us over twice. first it was knotts then it was last night. geez. jerrk.

ugh and then fuckin finals are coming up. and i am not ready for that. and i have to fuckin sign up for SATs. i was suppose to study like last month but im laggin it soo bad. ughh. wtf man.